X marks the spot – it’s the little things #Hawaii2017

The fun started before the trip with a lengthy phone call with the soon-to-be 5 year old who had very specific questions on the location of the condo, how far it was from the pool, if it was on the low floor or high floor, how many bags are allowed, who will take the bags, how early we need to wake up and leave for the sunrise, how will the pickup and drop-off at the airport work, and one important question that she forgot and had to schedule a separate call for – the playlist! She also wanted to know when the three adults besides her mamma were going “skydiving” so she and mamma could schedule their trip to the pool, and wanted to be sure that Fayeza provided instructions on how to get to the pool before leaving. Many of the questions were mixed with a super emphasized, “Fayeza, I am going to be 5 soon” statement!

I reassured her that there would be no waking up early for a sunrise (although we did one morning for a glimpse of the Solar Eclipse which we ended up watching on TV), but we would be going to a higher mountain and would need warm clothes. Two years in a row, the first thing I packed was her little jacket. I also created a playlist with plenty of Shakira and Pitbull plus Shape of You and “that radio song” (Cheap Thrills) along with some good old rock n roll for the rest of us in the car.

The first day started with a new version of “knock knock”

Knock knock - Who’s there – Jug - Jug who - Jaggu, I love you!

That the first place we visited right after checking in was the pool is no surprise. The now already 5 year old showed me a few new tricks, and also her muscles – the floats on her arms. She stared at me with great concern when I decided to walk on the treadmill instead of jumping into the pool right away.

The following day was the much anticipated visit to Volcanoes National Park. My weakness for purchasing reusable bags was quite evident at the gift store, and I also purchased a special bag to carry my water bottle and keys. Balanced the bottle bag with my cross-body purse, and I was ready to lead the hike into the Volcano’s rim. We took some lovely pictures along the rim with the plume of smoke rising from the Volcano in the back, and even sang a lovely birthday greeting for Manjeev. As we sweated our way on the trail towards the parking to head to the Lava Tube, I suddenly heard a little voice yell, “X marks the spot, Fayeza” followed by Aloma’s laughter. I stopped in my tracks to examine “the spot” which only made Aloma laugh more. Apparently, the “X” was on my back, formed by the straps of my new bottle bag and the purse.

Of course, we decided it was picture-worthy but not before the straps were adjusted to make the X look as perfect and centered as possible. 

In addition to that and hundreds of other pictures, there were several pictures laying on inviting horizontal tree trunks to send to Geralyn and Sheena, and stops at various spots to capture the lava plume in the ocean. Plus a few shots of the Sea Arch, which when said as one word, sounds like biatch according to Lester.

Wow! This is only the beginning, and the stories of the sunsets, Mauna Kea and beach bumming will have to be covered in a later blog! It will be another incredible list of little things (and high jumps) plus beautiful memories.

Actions, reactions, and my secrets of adulthood

Situational and appropriate humor and sarcasm (the non-tone-deaf kind) is what I resort to during stressful times. Sadly, while that has made it's way frequently to Facebook and Twitter, my blogging has been limited to incomplete drafts over the last few months. A moving post by a friend has inspired me to end the blogging drought with my next list of "My Secrets of Adulthood". 

My list from last year, "Pride, prejudice, and my secrets of adulthood", was more than a list. It was an attempt to challenge bigotry and hatred, and the silence of many of my friends. While it was well received by those who are always advocating for others, those who remained silent then, continue to remain silent now - some because of their privilege, and many because they don't believe in speaking up unless it affects them. My list this year reflects the horror of the last few months, the apathy of many I know, but most of all, my admiration for the strong, fierce, brave, outspoken women and men who are willing to go above and beyond, even when the fight is for others. 

As always, I will kick it off with one that is a repeat from previous lists: 

What you do every day matters more than what you do once in while (from Rubin's list)

It is better to change your reaction to people than expect them to change

A regular message that makes you laugh is more valuable than an occasional dinner

You don't have to be a coffee snob, wine snob, or any kind of snob to enjoy every drop of it

It is more fun to look forward to the next birthday celebration than to getting older

When an interviewer calls you 5 months after you applied, it's okay to say "I honestly don't remember" when asked why you applied for the job 

Having a "good heart" does not give you a free pass for making obnoxious and/or racist comments 

Don't let others' opinion of your activism keep you from doing what is right

Don't let others' lack of courage prevent you from speaking out

If you don't know the difference between flirting and sexual harassment/assault, you are part of the problem

If you don't understand the challenges women and men face because of discrimination, you are either privileged, indifferent, ignorant, or all of the above

The list is incomplete without the quotes that inspired the list. 

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time  - Maya Angelou

....people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel - Maya Angelou

The best defense against bullshit is vigilance. If you smell something, say something - Jon Stewart

If you are brave, stand up for others. If you cannot be brave, and it is often hard to be brave, be kind - Sarah Kendzior

Borrowing from an earlier blogpost this year about social media posts - "Like real life, there are those who talk the talk, and there are those who walk the walk. There are those who don't post, don't read, but judge others or stay indifferent. There are those who post and do nothing. There are those who post and take actions in small and big ways. Where you choose to be is up to you."

Where I choose to be is off Facebook. Not because I hate it, but because I love it. In fact, that is included in an earlier list. My love for everything that Facebook offers has made it hard to acknowledge some important truths. It's a very personal decision, and although I will miss being on Facebook, I will continue to be reachable to all my friends who want to and know how to get in touch with me. If you don't know how, there is still Messenger, at least for a short time. 

Hopefully, you will be back here to read my future blog posts about the hikes, the Hawaii trip, and the small and big adventures filled with gratitudes. Picture teaser below ⬇️

So long!  

Simple salt and pepper chicken

I thought I was well prepared, as I had wine, sangria, several non-alcoholic beverages, fruits, veggies, cheese, crackers, and other snacks, but when Susan asked if there was any meat, I had to think quickly of a tasty but fast option with available ingredients. Getting used to a Chopped Kitchen strategy.

Ingredients:

Chicken wings, about 20 pieces

Salt and pepper, to taste

¼ cup red wine vinegar

2 tbsp oil

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Heat an oven-proof skillet on stove top. Add the oil to an oven-proof skillet, and place the chicken wings in the skillet once the oil is hot. Cook for 5 minutes on medium heat on one side, then turn and cook for 3 minutes on the other side. Season with salt and pepper, and add the red wine vinegar to the skillet. Leave on stove for another minute, and then transfer to the oven (preheated to 400 degrees). Bake for 20 minutes. Remove right away and transfer to serving dish.

Serve with your favorite BBQ sauce, Sriracha, or green chutney. Since the chicken is lightly flavored, it will go with any of your favorite sauces. My guests skipped the sauces, and enjoyed it as is.

Side note: I also made a raspberry strudel, my first real pastry baking adventure. It was very stressful and I don’t remember much of the process, but it was edible J

Snowstorms, hailstorms, and friendships that weather storms

Snowstorm: a heavy fall of snow, especially with a high wind

Snow: atmospheric water vapor frozen into ice crystals and falling in light white flakes or lying on the ground as a white layer

Hailstorm: a storm of heavy hail

Hail: pellets of frozen rain that fall in showers from cumulonimbus clouds

Friendships: the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends

Weather the storm: survives difficulties

Ha! I am finally getting to this blog post with snowstorms and hailstorms in the title when we have a heat wave, and it is a balmy 89 degrees outside! It's fitting, however, that I am writing about my first year in the U.S. and remembering that it was approximately 89 degrees in Bombay when I left, and close to 25 degrees in Chicago when I landed at the airport. I cleared immigration and customs and stepped out of the protected arrivals area to look for the person picking me up, and it was so cold, I felt the surfactant in my lungs freeze as I took a breath in. After a comedy of errors worthy of it's own post, I finally found Peggy (who had been standing at an exit with a post-it with Fayeza in ball point pen), and we headed to my first residence at Joyce Stockler's house in Elmwood Park, where I was greeted by Heidi, the dog, and 3 very unhappy cats. Saving grace, my soon-to-be first roommate, Aparna.

Aparna set me up with her in the little attic bedroom with 2 twin beds. When I woke up the next morning, I experienced my first shock! Snow, but not the pretty kind, bare trees, and not a single sound outside. I was used to waking up to the sounds of chirping birds and crowing roosters, and the quiet stillness was both fascinating and depressing. But Aparna took me shopping, and we took the Harlem bus to the closest K-Mart. Since it was below freezing, Aparna loaned me a winter jacket that was heavier than me, and went all the way to my toes. Because we were adventurous, we decided to walk back home on Harlem Ave, and it was only much later that we realized how stupid that was. Just like it was only a few months ago when I was making a list when writing this draft that I realized how many firsts I had with Aparna.

First roommate
First shopping partner
First dinner partner at Red Lobster
First dinner partner on Devon Street (I think it was a restaurant called Gandhi, and Joyce's dad took us there)
First out-of-town trip (to Lincoln, IL to visit Poonam in her new apartment)
First movie in the US (The Air Up There)
First really long drive in a blizzard (280 miles in 13 hours)

We have so many firsts, some of them only mine but she was an important part of it. We went to an Amish town in IL together, and enjoyed it just as much as The Signature Lounge at the 96th (maybe even more, ha ha). There was a moment of weakness when we considered going fishing when hanging out by a lake in the Midwest - could have been our first, and my last. We had the same car, and we both had a love-hate relationship with it. She used her's a lot longer than I used mine, and she drove it to California.

I am sure there are many I have left out that I will remember during a conversation. Laughing, of course, has always been a big part of it, and I was treated to a visit to Laffing Sal with her and Umesh when Sal resided at the Mechanical Museum next to the Cliff House.

I still have the cardigan we bought at K-Mart on my first shopping trip (I did give away all the other stuff but had to keep at least one thing I bought that day). And I only recently gave away my first rolling carry-on, a birthday gift from Aparna, Poonam and Lena way back when! The mug I cherished (another birthday gift) for more than 20 years finally chipped but the little stuffed tiger that came with it is safe.

Ha! I am rambling on and forgot there is a hailstorm to be remembered. When visiting Poonam on what seemed to be a nice day, just as I took the exit ramp from I-5, it turned pitch dark, and I could only hear the sound of the heavy hail falling on the car roof. I had never experienced hail before and I was even more terrified as there was a semi-trailer taking the exit right behind me. It was only when the the hailstorm stopped that I realized we were surrounded by golf-ball size hail, and like all disciplined traffic in the Midwest, all vehicles had come to a slow and complete stop until the storm passed.

Aparna, Poonam and I didn't have an easy start when we first arrived, and it didn't get easier in the first couple of years. We were strong, persistent, gritty women but most importantly, we had each other as well as some very important friends who always kept our spirits up. I have a more vivid memory of watching Lion King with them in Danville, IL than other more spectacular movies since. Gosh, we went to the hot air balloon festival the first summer, and were excited because we traveled there in a standing-room only bus! We managed to get lost in Indianapolis, which was far smaller and less populated than it is today. This was after I locked my keys in the rental car to which we didn't have a spare key!

I can't figure out how to end this blog, so I will do it very simply. To friendships that last through the toughest times and survive forever - I love you!

Egg Curry

It’s funny that I am posting an egg curry recipe as it is not really a favorite food, and I have probably cooked it only once before. As always, there is a story related to the recipe that I will tell (and hopefully you will read) before I describe the recipe.

After a grocery shopping and cooking marathon last weekend for Jasmine’s farewell party, and living on leftover food for a couple of days, I decided that some simple meals would work fine for the next few days. That thought led me to creating my own version of a kale salad quesadilla with Cajun seasoning (recipe to be provided another day). I quickly tired of the two other versions of my so-called healthy quesadillas, and Jay didn’t even want to try what was a delicious and unusual creation. And after 2 days at a conference, I felt that I wanted a more authentic home-cooked meal which didn’t involve grocery shopping for ingredients. So I decided to do a Chopped kitchen version of cooking a meal – placed all the possible ingredients on the countertop, and started thinking of how to convert them into a meal. I had everything except a good protein.

Then I saw it! Half a case of hard-boiled eggs, from Costco! Credit for this great find at Costco goes to Poonam and Amarjot. I laughed at myself for considering egg curry as my Chopped kitchen meal, but I didn’t really have a good excuse besides just eating hard-boiled eggs with a side salad for dinner (and letting Jay eat instant noodles).

Egg Curry

Ingredients

6 eggs, hard-boiled and halved vertically

1 tbsp cooking oil

I large onion, chopped

3 medium tomatoes, chopped

3 green chillies, either sliced half or cut into small pieces (long spicy ones or thai peppers – you can add up to 6 to make the curry spicier)

A few curry leaves (if you have them – available at most good Indian stores)

1 tsp garlic paste

1 tsp ginger paste

1 tsp mustard seeds

1 tsp red chilli powder

1tsp coriander powder

Pinch of turmeric

Salt to taste (2 tsp should be enough)

Note: Use a pan large enough to fit the eggs in one layer.

Heat 1 tbsp of cooking oil in the pan, and add the onion. Add the mustard seeds, green chillies and curry leaves as the onions start changing color. Turn down the heat to medium, and when the onions start to brown, add the ginger and garlic paste and mix well. Add the remaining spices, fry for about 20 seconds, and add the tomatoes. Mix the ingredients well as they cook together. Once the tomatoes have cooked, approx. 5 minutes, layer the boiled eggs, yolk-side facing up, on top of the cooked ingredients. Turn down the heat to low, and let the eggs soak in the flavors as you add spoonfuls of the cooked ingredients on top of each egg. Switch the heat off in 5 minutes, and let the curry sit for 10 minutes or so before serving.

Serve over steamed rice.

Add coriander / cilantro leaves over the cooked curry for additional flavor. As I didn’t have any in my Chopped kitchen, I did not include it in the ingredients :).

I am happy with how this turned out, and I might cook this again, with an intent to make egg curry next time. So happy with the process and outcome that I even have pictures for this blog post. 

My lemon tree is a lemon, and other non-gratitudes #gratitudes

Yes, my lemon tree is a lemon! After 12 years of hoping that it would provide enough juicy lemons to last for weeks, if not months, I am giving up hope. The first few years, there were lemons which provided a few drops of juice if lucky. Now the tree won't even provide any lemons. Oh well! I have to trek to the neighbor's tree with the tall-handled picker to get good lemons. My neighbor's tree has lemons big enough and juicy enough to provide half a cup of juice each!

It was an adventurous week with cooking ingredients. While shopping for mint, I saw Thai basil, and decided to try cooking Thai basil chicken. As is usually the case with my following recipes, I tweaked a few ingredients, but followed the instructions carefully for the basil as I had never used it before. Added it at the very end, and turned off the stove in 20 seconds. Well, the chicken was absolutely delicious but it didn't taste anything like Thai basil chicken. Since I had plenty of basil left over, I attempted it again, with the same result. With absolutely no faith in the third time's the charm nonsense, I added all that was leftover but after the stove was already turned off, and I could now taste the basil. But without the rest of the ingredients, it was not really what I was aiming for, but delicious regardless.

After a long hike on Sunday, I decided that it was going to be an easy pasta day. While shopping for pasta, I sighted egg noodles, and with my new found interest in Thai cooking, I decided to prepare pad kee mao. Things went rather well except the noodles I picked were the short ones meant for chicken noodle soup. Another delicious dish with a slightly off ingredient.

While I am writing about non-gratitudes, it's important to mention that I am still looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and have hiked hundreds of miles in my search. No pot of gold but I am in better shape than I ever was, have seen amazingly beautiful things, and best of all, made a lot of wonderful friends.

This week is off to a good start! Warm and sunny day, and coincidentally, date day with Sucharita. We had a wonderful time at the Half Moon Bay State Park Beach. We were sweating and regretted bringing jackets for backup instead of shorts! Finished the day with Fabiana and Oliver. Fabiana wanted to walk Oliver, but he walked us instead. Now it's time to finish the leftover partly authentic pad kee mao.

Making sense of what to post where #socialmedia

I went to LinkedIn, and they said, "This is a place for professionals, take your politics to Facebook where it belongs" 

I went to Facebook, and they said, "This is a place for pictures, memes and whining about family and friends. Take your politics to Twitter"

I went to Twitter, and they said, "You fucking bitch. I will smash your brown face into the pavement and send you back where you came from" 

It seems that many people have an opinion on what is allowed on a particular social media platform when the platform itself does not care. 

Let's start with LinkedIn. 

Does anyone have any doubt that the federal government is the single largest employer in the country? Is there any doubt that the trade and tax policies made by the government, whether federal or local, impact businesses and employment? Given that who leads the government and makes policies is determined by elections, hence politics, why is politics somehow not an acceptable topic on LinkedIn? What is not acceptable is the number of people who never have a policy-related argument but instead resort to personal attacks on the people publishing articles and to those with whom they disagree. If you don't like politics on LinkedIn, move on to the next thing, which most likely is the millionth article on how to improve something that reading an article will not improve. Or a meme that has been removed from it's original article and shared with a completely different context by thousands of people, who could not be bothered to read the actual article. Seriously, how many times do I have to read an article on a career site that tells me to sleep more and that money does not bring happiness?

And then there is Facebook. 

No, I don't get all my news from Facebook, but I do value the vast amount of information some of my more informed and politically savvy friends post. I find their activism refreshing, inspiring, and yes, challenging! It makes me a more informed and better person. I do find memes annoying, especially when more than 25 of my friends share the same one, but it makes them happy, and it's easy for me to ignore and move on. Facebook can be a reflection of your beliefs, and an easy way to share them. You don't like someone's political posts, move on, or better yet, delete them and let them know why. Like real life, there are those who talk the talk, and there are those who walk the walk. There are those who don't post, don't read, but judge others or stay indifferent. There are those who post and do nothing. There are those who post and take actions in small and big ways. Where you choose to be is up to you. 

That leaves Twitter. 

The platform where you can get the best and worst in information. Twitter is the place I follow newspapers, journalists, entertainers, entrepreneurs, philanthropists, and yes, commentators both liberal and conservative. I also enjoy reading responses to the opinions and articles. This, however, is challenging with it being impossible to filter out the hate speech in every thread, as Twitter is also the platform where you can attack people in cruel and vicious ways without consequences. Unless you are a celebrity with millions of followers and the visibility that forces the Twitter CEO to intervene. I switched to a private profile during the elections, which is fine as I am more interested in what others have to say than being followed by thousands (I barely made it to a 100 followers anyway). 

So, that brings me back to the beginning. If you are going to use social media, either learn to be tolerant, or learn how to ignore what you can't handle. People want to share pictures of their dogs on LinkedIn, let them. I will confess that I judge them, but I will keep it to myself. Keep judging if you must, but stop lecturing others on what they should and should not do on social media. If your responses on Twitter or any other platform begin with or include an insult, maybe it's time to get off social media and join a support group to address your hatred.

Now that I have this out of my system, time to finish my gratitude blog.

When the going gets tough, make some frivolous goals

Since none of the thoughtfully written meaningful blogs are hitting the completion point, I am going to break the drought by publishing a slightly frivolous list of 2017 goals.

Perfect hair coloring technique

My awesome stylist suggested I try coloring my own hair in between visits. The first two attempts earlier this year provided no results as I didn't leave the color in long enough (followed instructions that didn't help). So, I decided to leave it in for not twice, but three times longer than recommended time. Better results, but not "stylist" perfect. At the next attempt, I added the color, did some chores, watched tv, listened to a podcast while I walked around the house, and about 3 hours later, I washed my hair. Well, it was kind of perfect except it was about 4 shades darker than my natural hair color!! I gasped every time I looked in the mirror at the stranger with very dark hair.

Make three pairs of boots as good as new

During a tragic customer call, while my awesome teammates held their head in shock, I jumped into action, and decided to kick the trash can with all the fury I could generate. It had no impact on my teammates shock, but it ripped my boots. People who noticed the tear on the side of the boot assured me that it wasn't really noticeable. I put the pair aside, until small tears mysteriously appeared on two other pairs. Since going to the cobbler isn't really an easy thing to do, I planned all boot-wearing occasions around the last intact pair, which severely limited my ability to pick clothes. Over a few months, I forgot about the tears. Wore the brown boots and noticed that my socks were wet after stepping into a puddle. Took the smartest boots to wear to Kinky Boots, and noticed an expanding tear on the side of the boot when attempting to sit fashionably with the 4-inch heel pointed just right. I am now back to using the one surviving pair and planning clothing around it. The urgency of visiting the few existing neighborhood cobblers has increased significantly!

Fix the Wii 

The TV downstairs is not a "smart" TV, and we have managed to use the dinosaur to watch Prime movies using the Wii. But then we did something smart and got a smart TV for upstairs, and DirectTV with a new internet connection. With the smart TV apps, I have discovered an amazingly unlimited supply of award winning shows on Prime, Netflix and Hulu that make real TV irrelevant and a waste of time! However, sitting in bed during a binge session of 4 episodes of Man in the High Castle or Stranger Things has resulted in neck and back pain. It's also way too bright upstairs during the day. But the Wii does not work like it should, and I have just not devoted enough time to troubleshooting so I can watch Prime and Netflix on the dinosaur TV downstairs from the comfortable sofa!

Ride on the Hyde-Powell cable car with a billowing cape

After wearing a tutu all day in Disneyland for two little girls and a grown up bestie, I have been increasingly but only slightly braver about costumes. I made a tshirt for the Super Hero run to wear with the cape. Well, I bought the plain shirt and paint, and made a friend paint it, but same thing, right? So, when I recently found out that some of my Super Hero friends have not been on the spectacular Hyde-Powell line the right way - on the outside, screaming like you are on a roller coaster when you go over the steep hills, I decided that must happen. And what better way to do it than with our billowing capes? We will save some lives and kill a vampire or two while we are at it.

We can't do everything, but we can do something

I know you either love me enough to read this far or just love my writing. The most frivolous of all is my goal to nag people into reading my upcoming more serious blogs. Nag people to rise above helpnessness and despair, and take action. I need to nag others so I can feed off their positive energy and do more myself. If you read this far and laughed with me, please return the favor and make someone smile. And if you can save the life of a human being who has no place to turn, please donate to SAMS, an organization that selflessly and tirelessly works with desperate people in Syria.

If you prefer something different, please read the below article by Nicholas Kristoff, a personal superhero whose recommendations carry a lot of weight.

Forget the Tie. Give a Gift That Matters.

It's the little things #Maui2016

A little over a year ago, I wrote "It's the little things #Oahu2015". It was a blog about our trip to Oahu that covered a few things that make us laugh even a year later. This time around, the fun started the day before we left at the Pacifica Fog Fest, where many of us got a tan before even packing our bags.

Speaking of packing, the first thing in my bag was the winter coat, not the beach wear. I figured it would be easier to buy swim wear in Maui, but harder to get the necessary warm clothing for the Summit of Haleakala (it was 36 degrees when we went there a few years ago). Since I was checking in a bag, I offered space to those who were not. Turns out I was the only one checking in a bag, and once I added my jacket, the cooler bag, the little one's jacket and raincoat, and other things that were not mine, I ended up taking a carry-on, too. In addition to being anxious about my jacket not making it if the bag was lost by the airline, I was now anxious about the little jacket, too.

All jackets arrived safely in the morning on the flight with me, and the only thing I worried about on the flight was the turbulence caused by Jay's laughter while listening to three podcasts of "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" (using my iPhone and headphones).

The four year old arrived with a lot of energy and a great enthusiasm to explore every body of water. She was quite okay getting up and into the car by 4am to head out to the Summit for the sunrise, but was very confused by why it was so cold in Hawaii. She did provide the best description for our pictures of the spectacular sunrise - "this pictue is in the God books". Keeping in line with the God theme, Jay got instructions to the best fried chicken at the bottom of the mountain from a Jehova's Witness volunteer at the Visitor Center!

We survived the drive back playing I Spy followed by Knock Knock. I Spy was a success. Knock Knock was a success for a different reason. It went something like this -

Lester - Knock Knock
Child - Who's there?
Lester - Child
Child - It couldn't be!! 

We didn't make it past the laughter to continue playing Knock Knock, but we did get in a picnic at a Beach Park, an afternoon in the pool and a teppanyaki dinner at Kobe's in Lahaina. The little one went to bed after firmly stating, "Maui is very tiring".

Arpitha worked on Wednesday, and the rest of us spent the day at the beach. I was told by the little one that building a sand castle is hard work, and we have to work hard. When I told her I was on vacation, and would not work, she changed strategies. She told me vacations are for fun, and building a sand castle was fun. So I agreed. In exchange for helping her, I was rewarded with an exfoliating wet sand back massage by exquisite little hands accompanied by singing.

While I went for a walk the next morning since everyone was still asleep, the late risers conspired to leave for Hana without me. My little angel was not having any of that, and declared, "we cannot leave without Fayeza, and that's the TRUTH!". She made sure I was in the car before we drove off.

Later that evening, Arpitha exposed us to (and may have traumatized us with) YouTube videos called Eye to Eye and Angel by Tahir Shah. I am still traumatized enough to not go to the link to post it here. Because of her, we also went zip lining - something we always wanted to do but never got around to doing!

Jay declared on the way to the airport that we did good, as we had no accidents, we didn't lose anything or anyone. He forgot that he lost two room keys, and still had one in his pocket while going through TSA that he proudly kept just to show he didn't lose that one.

The Summit of Haleakala, the Road to Hana (and beyond to the Pools of Oheo), yoga lessons by the four year old, sand castles, ocean, waterfalls, beaches, hiking, shave ice, luau, and so much more - each of those is linked to a memorable moment, often captured in pictures, but always captured in the ❤️.

So long, Maui!

What I learned from Relay For Life #volunteering

Many of my friends and coworkers have heard me say that I learned the best project management and leadership skills from my 3 years on the leadership team at the Relay For Life of Belmont / San Carlos, two of which I chaired. But that's only a fraction of what I really learned, and the most valuable lessons came from the weekly interactions for the months spent in organizing the events. 

• Do not underestimate the power of human kindness
• Grief is a powerful emotion, use it well 
• No one "has" time to volunteer - those who are motivated "make" time
• When some volunteers drive you crazy, always remember why they are there and your common purpose
• The most important thing in fundraising is the "ask" - if you don't ask, you don't get
• Don't be afraid of, and be offended by, hearing a "no" - not everyone believes in the same causes you do
• Find the right people, train them, and get out of their way - if you can't trust people, they won't be inspired by your leadership
• Practice empathy - it is better than preaching it
• Be grateful - for what you have, what you are capable of doing if you try, and simply recognizing that you can make a difference
• Know when to walk away, even from something you love and are passionate about

This list is not complete, but I am fighting the urge to make this perfect (which means it may not be posted for a very long time).

Parting thought for now - be inspired by kindness, and volunteer for a cause because each one of us can make a difference. My experience with Relay inspired me to volunteer for many other causes, some of which I loved, and some - well, cutting sheetrock was just not my thing :).