Actions, reactions, and my secrets of adulthood

Situational and appropriate humor and sarcasm (the non-tone-deaf kind) is what I resort to during stressful times. Sadly, while that has made it's way frequently to Facebook and Twitter, my blogging has been limited to incomplete drafts over the last few months. A moving post by a friend has inspired me to end the blogging drought with my next list of "My Secrets of Adulthood". 

My list from last year, "Pride, prejudice, and my secrets of adulthood", was more than a list. It was an attempt to challenge bigotry and hatred, and the silence of many of my friends. While it was well received by those who are always advocating for others, those who remained silent then, continue to remain silent now - some because of their privilege, and many because they don't believe in speaking up unless it affects them. My list this year reflects the horror of the last few months, the apathy of many I know, but most of all, my admiration for the strong, fierce, brave, outspoken women and men who are willing to go above and beyond, even when the fight is for others. 

As always, I will kick it off with one that is a repeat from previous lists: 

What you do every day matters more than what you do once in while (from Rubin's list)

It is better to change your reaction to people than expect them to change

A regular message that makes you laugh is more valuable than an occasional dinner

You don't have to be a coffee snob, wine snob, or any kind of snob to enjoy every drop of it

It is more fun to look forward to the next birthday celebration than to getting older

When an interviewer calls you 5 months after you applied, it's okay to say "I honestly don't remember" when asked why you applied for the job 

Having a "good heart" does not give you a free pass for making obnoxious and/or racist comments 

Don't let others' opinion of your activism keep you from doing what is right

Don't let others' lack of courage prevent you from speaking out

If you don't know the difference between flirting and sexual harassment/assault, you are part of the problem

If you don't understand the challenges women and men face because of discrimination, you are either privileged, indifferent, ignorant, or all of the above

The list is incomplete without the quotes that inspired the list. 

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time  - Maya Angelou

....people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel - Maya Angelou

The best defense against bullshit is vigilance. If you smell something, say something - Jon Stewart

If you are brave, stand up for others. If you cannot be brave, and it is often hard to be brave, be kind - Sarah Kendzior

Borrowing from an earlier blogpost this year about social media posts - "Like real life, there are those who talk the talk, and there are those who walk the walk. There are those who don't post, don't read, but judge others or stay indifferent. There are those who post and do nothing. There are those who post and take actions in small and big ways. Where you choose to be is up to you."

Where I choose to be is off Facebook. Not because I hate it, but because I love it. In fact, that is included in an earlier list. My love for everything that Facebook offers has made it hard to acknowledge some important truths. It's a very personal decision, and although I will miss being on Facebook, I will continue to be reachable to all my friends who want to and know how to get in touch with me. If you don't know how, there is still Messenger, at least for a short time. 

Hopefully, you will be back here to read my future blog posts about the hikes, the Hawaii trip, and the small and big adventures filled with gratitudes. Picture teaser below ⬇️

So long!  

What I learned from Relay For Life #volunteering

Many of my friends and coworkers have heard me say that I learned the best project management and leadership skills from my 3 years on the leadership team at the Relay For Life of Belmont / San Carlos, two of which I chaired. But that's only a fraction of what I really learned, and the most valuable lessons came from the weekly interactions for the months spent in organizing the events. 

• Do not underestimate the power of human kindness
• Grief is a powerful emotion, use it well 
• No one "has" time to volunteer - those who are motivated "make" time
• When some volunteers drive you crazy, always remember why they are there and your common purpose
• The most important thing in fundraising is the "ask" - if you don't ask, you don't get
• Don't be afraid of, and be offended by, hearing a "no" - not everyone believes in the same causes you do
• Find the right people, train them, and get out of their way - if you can't trust people, they won't be inspired by your leadership
• Practice empathy - it is better than preaching it
• Be grateful - for what you have, what you are capable of doing if you try, and simply recognizing that you can make a difference
• Know when to walk away, even from something you love and are passionate about

This list is not complete, but I am fighting the urge to make this perfect (which means it may not be posted for a very long time).

Parting thought for now - be inspired by kindness, and volunteer for a cause because each one of us can make a difference. My experience with Relay inspired me to volunteer for many other causes, some of which I loved, and some - well, cutting sheetrock was just not my thing :).

Pride, prejudice and my secrets of adulthood #pride #equality

At dawn, it dawned on me that it is the last day of the month, and once again I am scrambling to meet my self-imposed deadline for a blogpost. In what I considered to be a difficult month to be inspired to write a joyful gratitude blog, I ended up discovering that we are surrounded by many. Sometimes you have to look, but they are always there. And this led me to create my next list of "my secrets of adulthood". Unfortunately, some gratitudes may be accompanied with a  rant, a sad reflection on the time we live in. 

I ended my blog with my second list of "my secrets of adulthood" with the following comment from my favorite television personality. 

"The best defense against bullshit is vigilance. If you smell something, say something" - Jon Stewart

This is even more true today than a year ago when he said it. In a month that has challenged all of us in still believing in the goodness in humanity, I am truly blessed and will boast that I am surrounded mostly by people who believe in equality, not just for their own kind, but for everyone in the world. More about this in the last paragraph of the blog, but first, my next list of "my secrets of adulthood".

I will kick it off with one that is a repeat from the previous two lists:

What you do every day matters more than what you do once in while (from Rubin's list)
Challenging ignorance is probably the best thing you can do for everyone

Expressing an opinion makes you stronger, when that opinion is based on facts

My marriage has never been and never will be threatened by the marriage of my gay friends

A glass of wine does not fix problems, but it helps put them in perspective

It's okay to be a tad bit, little bit or immensely jealous of other people's adventures

Accepting and admitting your weaknesses makes you stronger, if you work on changing them

Accepting your friends' weaknesses makes your relationships stronger 

And lastly, reconnecting to the first part of my blog -
If you can't challenge your own friends on their bigotry, racism and / or xenophobia, you have no right to discuss how to change the world. 

A few days ago, I took it upon myself to say something when I read some total bullshit in posts by a Mexican-American friend who hates Trump for obvious reasons, but openly posted that she used to think all Muslims are terrorists until.... and posted a video that had somehow transformed her thinking. She went on to encourage and applaud the 2 people who added hateful comments in response to her post. As I did not want to get in the middle of their love-fest for hating other people, I sent her a private message calling her out. Her response - my cousin is a radical, I should just block him. It never occurred to her that he was responding to her statement. I openly challenged classmates on their ignorance when Prop 8 was on the ballot in 2008. That battle was lost not because of religious views but sheer ignorance of those who believe everything they see in a TV ad. It was particularly horrifying to me that these were graduate students with access to information, and chose not to use their brains. 

I truly believe that there is more good than evil, and more good people than evil people in the world. Although it does not feel like it on some days, we are in many ways better off today and will be in the future. This is possible because we have access to more easily available information more than ever before. However, information is not absorbed by breathing - you have to research, know how to look for facts v/s rhetoric, and be open to evolving as a person. Don't blame your culture, your upbringing and lack of knowledge, and don't let others get away with those excuses either. I know my opinions have evolved over the last two decades, and I believe that if you truly believe in equality, it has to be equality for all, no matter their race, ethnicity, religion and sexual orientation. 

I dedicate this blog to the lives lost at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, to those killed at Ataturk airport in Istanbul, to those who are discriminated against because of how they identify themselves in society, and the brave people who stand up for the rights of others. 

Saved by the leap year, Downton Abbey, and a tearful gratitude

After being on a roll in January, I barely made it this month. That is my first gratitude - the extra day in February since it is a Leap Year.

In my last blog, I didn't make it to Christmas Day, which was very special in many ways, and it will be it's own blog one day soon. Since this is an extra day, I am going to write about an extra gratitude - extra because it made something else more special, more valued, and more sentimental. 

Downton Abbey. It may sound like a fickle thing to be grateful for. I love good stories, and I love good screenplays. And I particularly love the British shows as they are just as thoughtful about the words and not just the drama. Beginning to feel disappointed with the last season, where I suspected the writers were trying to tie up the loose ends for a perfect ending, I was pleasantly surprised with Episode 8. It's funny I say pleasantly, as what I liked most about the episode was the part that made me cry. If you don't watch the show, it won't mean anything to you. If you watch the show, it is when Edith tells Mary, "Because we are sisters. And one day, only we will remember Sybil". 

That reaction from Edith was totally unexpected. I had already begun to like her character more and more with her taking charge of the newspaper, her new attitude to life, and her maturity in making the most of a very sad situation. With that sentence, Edith won my heart, and of course, the tears flowed freely. I can't remember the last time I cried watching a TV show, but this one stuck with me. I waited all week to find someone to talk to about it. Someone who would understand what it feels like to lose someone very young, and how that can create, if you let it, a bond that can never be broken.

I am grateful that Episode 8 aired the week before my Saturday hike with my friend Teresa. I am grateful for Teresa, who reappeared after weeks of exile to accompany me on a hike on this Saturday. We talked about her nieces, her parents, and her sister. Her sister, who left this life too early. And we talked about what Edith said, how it struck a chord, and it made us cry. It was a hike filled with tears and hugs, and the joy of having someone to talk to. 

I am grateful that I am surrounded by people who love what I love (or at least understand why), who get me, and can cry with me because they understand where the emotion comes from. 

You have an extra day this year to give extra hugs to those you love. Oh, and it's okay to hug those who you don't really love, if you can make their day special. 

White Elephant and beyond - the happy secret to better work #gratitudes

If you read my gratitude blogs and think I have a perfect life, I don’t. I only blog positive things, and my positive perspective of events that were less pleasant. There are many reasons for this, and one of them is that writing about what I am grateful for keeps me grounded during stressful times. It reminds me about one of my core principals – “it’s the small things”. If you are waiting to win the Powerball to be grateful, you will miss so many little things in your journey through life.

In my first gratitude blog, Simple gratitudes, I wrote about two TED talks that inspired me to write my daily gratitudes, and I now have core values inspired by Achor and Pasricha’s talks. How these talks inspired me and how I practice what I learned is in that blog, and today, I want to continue with my December gratitudes.

The week of Christmas started with our team’s holiday dinner. A few days before the dinner, Kelly and I decided that it would be fun to have a White Elephant gift exchange, but to counteract the exhaustion of getting prank gifts, we decided that they can be funny, but also need to be usable. And below is my “recap” of how a program management team does a White Elephant gift exchange (my interpretation, of course).

>>>>>

Preparing for HyperCare – with the perfect White Elephant gifts

• Kelly – delighted with the new clock that will keep us on time for all meetings (she will also schedule a training session for gift wrapping)
• Ashutosh – a mug with the 2016 calendar to remind him that every day in January is a Monday
• Pablo – so happy with his new ceramic mug that can travel to Bangalore with him
• Venu – a new humorous card each morning to remind us to laugh
• Merve – neck pillow for naps in the command center
• Michael – will never spill any of the precious much-needed coffee
• Fayeza – who will stop at nothing to nab the pillow for her own nap
• Shanice – needs the spill-proof mug more than Michael does
• Susan – believes that the schedule will reveal something good (and she is right)
• Merve – plenty of candy for the first few minutes on the first day of HyperCare
• Michael – grabs the fancy (and beautiful) tea maker for preparing soothing tea between tough meetings
• Susan – will be the most hydrated in all meetings with her fancy water bottle

>>>>>

This project has been one of the most challenging ones I have worked on. My stress, blood glucose, and often, blood pressure have been on the rise. I have more grey hair, and have to get my hair colored more frequently. It has also been very rewarding, I have learned a lot, and I have grown both professionally and personally. The most important thing, of course, is the relationships I have built, the trust I have earned, and the friendships I cherish.  I am grateful that I get to work with this amazing team, who motivate me, inspire me, drive me crazy, and keep me sane.

The hiking chronicles: stories of friendships, love and advocacy - the early days

It wouldn't be an exaggeration if I said I have thousands of photos, to be precise, iPhone photos, of my hikes. Over the last few years, I have hiked uncountable miles, mostly in Woodside.

I cannot remember precisely when I got interested in hiking. I always loved walking, but going into the woods on trails was something that was new to me. I remember the first time I struggled up the Alambique trail in Wunderlich Park. It took several stops before I made it past the first half mile of that steep incline. The friend I was hiking with is an amazing storyteller, and her funny stories made the huffing and puffing worse as laughing itself was quite difficult. I somehow made it that day, but the best part of the day was really the delicious burger we treated ourselves to after the hike. This is before Facebook and iPhone, and there was no bragging since I was not really sure it was worth bragging that I hiked a little over 3 miles in 4 hours.

After listening to me talk with such wonder about the beauty of hiking, my close friend Aloma said she knew of the perfect place to try next. It was the weekend of the 4th of July in 2004. We headed to Purisima Creek in Half Moon Bay. We picked the longest trails, because, yeah, we knew we could do it. We went up to Skyline and back. We saw the Pacific Ocean and Mount Tamalpais from an amazing location. We walked, we talked, and ate all our snacks. It was just a little over seven and a half miles. We crawled back to our car. We still felt great, until it was time to get out of the car. And we could barely move! I think we lay flat for hours for the fatigue and soreness to leave us. I still remember that beautiful day, and I repeated the hike with a group of people a couple of years later. That second time, it was on a Sunday morning after a sleepover at my house the night before. A sleepover where we had to force ourselves to go to bed at midnight since we had to be up early to hike.

Aloma and I wizened up a little, and picked shorter hikes after that adventure. The real adventure started a few weeks later after a friend generously gave me his book on the best hiking trails in California. Little did I know that reading the words and navigating a trail are very different things. Maps only confused me more, and it didn't help that my orientation did not always match that of the map. We hiked every trail in Pacifica and Woodside, carrying the big book with us to guide us. We often got stuck on very narrow trails at the edge of a precipice. Talk about being paralyzed with fear!! More than once, we had to crawl on our butts to make it to a safer path.

One of my favorite memories is what I call "the cobwebs incident". As Aloma and I were slowly making  our way down on the Bear Gulch trail in Wunderlich reading the fat hiking book. Aloma was reading out loud, and said something about the beauty of the Redwoods clearing the cobwebs in our heads. Just as she was done reading that, we found ourselves suddenly surrounded by the most amazing Redwood trees, and cobwebs! The cobwebs were everywhere! Small and big, and I as a spider-hater, I hate to admit that they were beautiful! We burst out laughing as we both had the exact same thought. The cobwebs in our head would soon join the ones left there by previous hikers :). 

For Aloma and I, hiking was never about the exercise or the great outdoors. It was a chance to talk, bond, eat, and spend time together uninterrupted by anything else. We laughed, we vented, we strengthened an already strong friendship. And somewhere along the way I fell in love with the trails, the Redwoods, the fresh air, and the exhilarating feeling of accomplishment every time I conquered a difficult uphill trail. 

I dedicate this post to my bestie who got me into something I love so much now, for listening to me for hours with no sign of escape, and for inspiring me to perfect my spicy egg toast that I made for our hikes. 

Pictures below are courtesy of another very patient friend who humored me by being the photographer.

An ode to sentimentality - selfies, hashtags, and the Jobvite days

Ode: a poem in which someone expresses a strong love or respect for someone or something

A poem, I cannot compose

A post, I can

That is how far I got with the poem......

Those who know me know that I love taking pictures, and being in them. Selfies, however, scared me. I had no problems being in other's selfies, but posing in my own was, well, scary. And then I joined Jobvite! 

I walked in wearing my favorite outfit on my first day, was handed a beautiful orchid by my manager, and heard someone say, "if that dies, you are fired". Considering that none of my previous orchids survived, my days were numbered if I didn't prove myself in other ways. As I settled in at my new desk, trying not to look at the beautiful orchid that could end my career at Jobvite, I was handed my next challenge - a scavenger hunt! A scavenger hunt, with scenarios on a spreadsheet for selfies! Scenarios on a spreadsheet - love it! Scenarios for selfies? Not so much. 

Over the next few days, I was added to the employee Facebook page, provided instructions for publishing jobs on social networks, and I favorited all things Jobvite on my social networks. I slowly embraced my new world of hashtags and selfies.

 #Jobs for the Jobvites on social networks

#carded selfie when our business cards arrived

#Twinkie selfie when we dressed in matching outfits

#CSFoodDrive when our team won the Second Harvest challenge

#StevieSilver when our team won the super awesome Stevie Award for Customer Service

It was fitting to celebrate my last two weeks at Jobvite in a manner similar to my first two weeks. Between meetings, and other things considered "working", I ambushed people who passed my area, and even stalked those who did not, to capture selfies. With some, there were almost daily selfies, sometimes more than once. With one person in particular, who never allows selfies, every selfie was a special moment. And of course, sometime during the day, the selfies were added to Instacollage and posted on Instagram and Facebook with the appropriate hastags.

Along with the many friendships and amazing memories, I will take with me the unforgettable hashtags that will always remind me of my days at Jobvite and the lifelong friendships.

#Awww for my partner in crime (only those that are not punishable by law, of course)

#myheartandsoul for the friends who lifted my spirits when I needed it the most

#loveyousomuch for my friends forever

The last day was long, and it went fast. My #Awww made me a book of selfies that I will cherish forever. I arrived in the same outfit that I wore on my first day. I made sure that I had enough charge and memory on my phone for selfies. I also made sure that those who avoided eye contact in order to avoid a selfie were ambushed and gently persuaded to take one. And I have to go back for those I missed.

The last picture of the day, however, is not a selfie. It is a picture with my manager, proudly holding her Stevie Gold trophy and the two Stevie Silver plaques that our team won that arrived earlier that day.

Special mention - the orchid is thriving, and I hope to watch it bloom for a very long time!

So long Jobvite, or should I say #solong #Jobvite?

Smiling all day :)

I smiled all day! At people I could see, at people on the phone, at people on my monitor, at my headset, even at the bathroom door! I want to capture this feeling and save it for a day when I feel like throwing things at all of the above. 

This is the power of gratitude! 

I got to work a little after 7am, and scanned my emails before dialing into my 7:30 call. I only had time to read a few, and even less time to respond to any. Of the three I read, one started with "Thank you" in the subject. Thank you notes are so special, they always make the priority list. It was no ordinary thank you note. Written by one of my toughest clients, it elevated my spirit and I knew that no matter what happened, nothing could ruin my day today. With 4 back-to-back calls, no time for breakfast, and just a few minutes to get coffee, reading that email every time a tough moment was about to arrive just made everything easier. 

A couple of years ago, I received a similar email. It blew me away, and I think I fell from my chair. My ridiculous but genuine response was, "believe it or not, I am speechless". I didn't just save this email, I created a special folder for it. 

My response today was genuine but slightly more polished. I didn't create a folder for it, or add it to my Love Letters folder. I left it in my inbox as an unread email. Now I see it every time I go over my unread emails. 

I will wake up tomorrow and think about this. And tomorrow, I will wish two very amazing women a Happy Birthday! A friend whose passion for volunteering brought us together, and whose wit, charm, and compassion kept me wanting to be a part of her life. She was also my SQL accountability partner, amongst other things, and I know I wouldn't have made it without her. I will celebrate the birthday of my niece, whose intelligence, talent, perseverance and can-do attitude will inspire many others. She is an amazing young woman who is doing great things, and I can't wait to celebrate her future successes! 

Still smiling :)

Making a connection, building a bond

When I received confirmation that I was selected to be a Techwomen Cultural Mentor, I was ecstatic! I could not wait to find out more about my Emerging Leader, who is from Algeria, and connect with her. And while I waited for an email from her, the uncertainty set in - what if we don't connect, what if we have nothing to talk about, what if we have nothing in common?

Sara, my mother's name. Sarrah, my niece, named after my mother. And Sarra, the name of my Emerging Leader, the first thing in common. When I received the very warm and loving email introduction, my first response was to tell her that she had my mother's name. When I first met her on a Skype call, and she told me that this would be her first time leaving her country, and even getting on a plane, I found the other common thread. And when I asked her what airline she was flying, it turned out it was Lufthansa, the same airline I took when I arrived in the US. Wait, there is more! I was the same age as Sarra when I left Bombay to come to the US!

Needless to say, we connected instantly, in the first email, over the Skype call, and in that first very special hug when we met in person. Spending the day with her has already enriched my life. In her, I see so many young women who aspire to do great things, break barriers, and accomplish the impossible. I am looking forward to the one month that I get to spend with her and the other Emerging Leaders who are here from many different countries.

A big Hurray for the amazing Emerging Leaders of Techwomen 2014!!

Leaning In with Merline Saintil

The Palo Alto Lean In Circle had the pleasure of hosting Merline Saintil at our August meeting. To many of us, she is a celebrity who is number 6 on the Business Insider's list of 22 most powerful women engineers. However, there was nothing celebrity-like with her interactions with the 50 people in that room. She was honest and generous with her insights, and connected so well with the people in the room that it almost felt like talking to a long-time friend.

In the Q&A session, Merline provided very valuable insights. I am still in awe of her, and also want to quote a few other members who attended -  

“Merline was amazing. Such a gifted inspiring person. We were lucky to be able to meet her in such an intimate setting”

“I was so happy to attend and hear "HER STORY" she is so smart and I loved her humble viewpoints on the Silicon Valley bubble also”

“Great presentation by Merline Saintil and great questions by the circle participants!”

Merline not only provided us with her pearls of wisdom, but stayed for almost an hour after to talk to many of us, and even did what many members do after being asked to vacate the room - hang out in the parking lot and continue the conversation. 

Merline, I cannot express in words how grateful we all for sharing your evening with us, and inspiring so many women! A special thank you for signing my notes! 

I am sharing my notes from the evening with everyone, as wisdom like this is powerful, and will make each one of us happier "in our own skin". 

Staying relevant and being authentic were weaved into many of Merline’s responses. She spoke candidly about happiness at work and career pivots, and emphasized the value of relationships and networking. 

Some of Merline’s insights on women and careers: 

·         Network, network, network

·         Happiness with your career comes from what you are good at intersecting with what you are passionate about

·         Spend an hour every week on reflection

o    Women juggle so many responsibilities at work and home that they sometimes forget to spend time on themselves

o    Reflect on what / where are the gaps, ask for coaching or help from friends

·         Stay relevant

o    Even if you are juggling roles at work, or are working in a generalized area, make sure you are honing your skills with side projects

·         Balance is a myth

o    Focus on an equal partnership

o    Women can achieve more with sharing responsibilities at home than doing it all

·         Career pivots can be great opportunities to grow

o    Be honest with yourself, and be intentional about what you want from a certain experience

o    Try something new, and figure out how you can make an impact

o    What are your interests and how can you make a contribution

o    Always look at the risks and rewards of making a change

o    Before making a pivot, validate it is what you want by finding a way to experience it

·         The “wow” factor - once this wears off, start looking for a change

o    Don’t stay if you are not performing at your peak, or getting bored

·         Focus on your own definition of success

o    Find a way of measuring your own success

o    What success looks like to you is what will make you happy

o    Be comfortable in your own skin wherever you are

·         Be authentic

·         Careers are about relationships - build your network

·         Change is the only constant

·         Manage your own time and determine priorities

Merline also had candid responses to the questions on lack of women in STEM and leadership roles, and the recent diversity numbers released by Silicon Valley companies. Fewer women in the pipeline is a big factor in the lack of women in the STEM workforce. She encouraged women in STEM careers to stay in the workforce, and find ways to make career pivots. As more women get into leadership positions at major companies, the trend will also change for women on boards. 

She also asked women in the room to promote organizations that encourage young girls to pursue STEM careers - and of course, make sure that you are practicing this at home and with your own friends and family. The investment in coding programs for girls by major companies is a step in the right direction, but each one of us can do more.

My takeaways from the conversation:

·         Stay relevant

·         Change is constant

·         Make an impact

·         Be authentic

·         Network, network, network

Keep calm and love your lean in homework

This article is inspired by the Lean In education video titled “Creating a Level Playing Field” – http://leanin.org/education/creating-a-level-playing-field/

In one of her six solutions to reduce bias, Professor Shelley Correll suggests that women, especially those in leadership positions, should vouch for and endorse the competence of other women in their organization. We must highlight “her” accomplishments, skills and contributions, and also pay attention when expressing a subconscious bias (such as introducing women as warm, hard-working and helpful whereas using words like brilliant and highly skilled for men).

Prof. Correll points out that we can start using this solution right away, regardless of our position in the organization. Our circle took this a step further, and decided that we want to vouch for and recommend the women in our circle. The facilitator of our circle created a homework assignment in which a circle member partnered up with another woman in the circle, and got to know them over a 3 month period. At the end of the 3 months, they would write a LinkedIn recommendation for each other which highlighted the skills and talents that they learned of and recognized in their homework partner.

When I started this assignment, I was excited at the idea of making new friends and getting to know other women in different professions and at different career levels. The assignment made me focus on 2 important things. First, I would always present myself in the most positive way possible, and talk about my skills and talents with another woman. Secondly, I focused on asking questions that would make me learn of the positive things about my homework partner. Both of these were very rewarding, as I found myself practicing story telling in a positive way, and I learned so much about the career and personal life of my partner, and how their skills and contributions led them to their accomplishments.

My 3 months are up, and I am now focused on writing recommendations for the brilliant women I partnered up with. I have made new friends and learned so much about the life and careers of my homework partners, but most of all, I have learned that focusing on the positive in myself and others has inspired me to learn more about other women’s accomplishments, highlight my skills and those of others around me more, and to Lean In!