Actions, reactions, and my secrets of adulthood

Situational and appropriate humor and sarcasm (the non-tone-deaf kind) is what I resort to during stressful times. Sadly, while that has made it's way frequently to Facebook and Twitter, my blogging has been limited to incomplete drafts over the last few months. A moving post by a friend has inspired me to end the blogging drought with my next list of "My Secrets of Adulthood". 

My list from last year, "Pride, prejudice, and my secrets of adulthood", was more than a list. It was an attempt to challenge bigotry and hatred, and the silence of many of my friends. While it was well received by those who are always advocating for others, those who remained silent then, continue to remain silent now - some because of their privilege, and many because they don't believe in speaking up unless it affects them. My list this year reflects the horror of the last few months, the apathy of many I know, but most of all, my admiration for the strong, fierce, brave, outspoken women and men who are willing to go above and beyond, even when the fight is for others. 

As always, I will kick it off with one that is a repeat from previous lists: 

What you do every day matters more than what you do once in while (from Rubin's list)

It is better to change your reaction to people than expect them to change

A regular message that makes you laugh is more valuable than an occasional dinner

You don't have to be a coffee snob, wine snob, or any kind of snob to enjoy every drop of it

It is more fun to look forward to the next birthday celebration than to getting older

When an interviewer calls you 5 months after you applied, it's okay to say "I honestly don't remember" when asked why you applied for the job 

Having a "good heart" does not give you a free pass for making obnoxious and/or racist comments 

Don't let others' opinion of your activism keep you from doing what is right

Don't let others' lack of courage prevent you from speaking out

If you don't know the difference between flirting and sexual harassment/assault, you are part of the problem

If you don't understand the challenges women and men face because of discrimination, you are either privileged, indifferent, ignorant, or all of the above

The list is incomplete without the quotes that inspired the list. 

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time  - Maya Angelou

....people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel - Maya Angelou

The best defense against bullshit is vigilance. If you smell something, say something - Jon Stewart

If you are brave, stand up for others. If you cannot be brave, and it is often hard to be brave, be kind - Sarah Kendzior

Borrowing from an earlier blogpost this year about social media posts - "Like real life, there are those who talk the talk, and there are those who walk the walk. There are those who don't post, don't read, but judge others or stay indifferent. There are those who post and do nothing. There are those who post and take actions in small and big ways. Where you choose to be is up to you."

Where I choose to be is off Facebook. Not because I hate it, but because I love it. In fact, that is included in an earlier list. My love for everything that Facebook offers has made it hard to acknowledge some important truths. It's a very personal decision, and although I will miss being on Facebook, I will continue to be reachable to all my friends who want to and know how to get in touch with me. If you don't know how, there is still Messenger, at least for a short time. 

Hopefully, you will be back here to read my future blog posts about the hikes, the Hawaii trip, and the small and big adventures filled with gratitudes. Picture teaser below ⬇️

So long!