Keep calm and love your lean in homework

This article is inspired by the Lean In education video titled “Creating a Level Playing Field” – http://leanin.org/education/creating-a-level-playing-field/

In one of her six solutions to reduce bias, Professor Shelley Correll suggests that women, especially those in leadership positions, should vouch for and endorse the competence of other women in their organization. We must highlight “her” accomplishments, skills and contributions, and also pay attention when expressing a subconscious bias (such as introducing women as warm, hard-working and helpful whereas using words like brilliant and highly skilled for men).

Prof. Correll points out that we can start using this solution right away, regardless of our position in the organization. Our circle took this a step further, and decided that we want to vouch for and recommend the women in our circle. The facilitator of our circle created a homework assignment in which a circle member partnered up with another woman in the circle, and got to know them over a 3 month period. At the end of the 3 months, they would write a LinkedIn recommendation for each other which highlighted the skills and talents that they learned of and recognized in their homework partner.

When I started this assignment, I was excited at the idea of making new friends and getting to know other women in different professions and at different career levels. The assignment made me focus on 2 important things. First, I would always present myself in the most positive way possible, and talk about my skills and talents with another woman. Secondly, I focused on asking questions that would make me learn of the positive things about my homework partner. Both of these were very rewarding, as I found myself practicing story telling in a positive way, and I learned so much about the career and personal life of my partner, and how their skills and contributions led them to their accomplishments.

My 3 months are up, and I am now focused on writing recommendations for the brilliant women I partnered up with. I have made new friends and learned so much about the life and careers of my homework partners, but most of all, I have learned that focusing on the positive in myself and others has inspired me to learn more about other women’s accomplishments, highlight my skills and those of others around me more, and to Lean In!

Spanish rice, with an extra oomph

My very own recipe, which I came up with after looking at a few online that did not quite have the oomph that the people I cook for and I like in our food. This serves approximately 12 people as a side.  

Ingredients

1 can (approx. 15 ounces) stewed tomatoes

1 ½ cup rice (washed and drained)

1 ½ cup water

Salt to taste (approx. 2 teaspoons)

1 tablespoon vegetable or olive oil

3 thai chillies, chopped very fine (add less or more to adjust the spice level – thai chillies are spicier than Serrano peppers, which can be used as a substitute)

1 onion, chopped into very small pieces

1 small tomato, chopped into small pieces

1 teaspoon cumin powder

2 teaspoons red chilli powder (you can use paprika if you can’t handle red chillies)

Green onions and cilantro for garnish

Mash the stewed tomatoes with potato masher or spin them in the food processor

In a medium saucepan, add the oil, and fry the chopped onions, thai chillies and tomato until the onions are translucent (or change color)

Add the rice and fry for 30 seconds stirring constantly so rice does not burn or stick to the pan

Add the cumin and chilli powder and mix well

Add the stewed tomatoes and water to the pan

Bring to a boil and then reduce heat to low

Cover and cook for approx. 15 mins or until rice is done

NOTE: Do not stir the rice when it’s cooking

Once cooked, take off the cover and let the rice cool down completely before lightly forking and transferring to serving dish

The rice can be warmed in microwave if needed

Garnish with green onions and cilantro and serve

Enjoy! 

Deseeding a pomegranate

Amazingly simple technique, demonstrated by Poonam in the video, has inspired all of us to smack a pomegranate. Here's to hoping that those of us who cheered her on will use her technique to deseed a pomegranate, and not just enjoy the seeds of the fruit!

Letting go and saying no, with confidence!

As I struggled with a decision, something happened that I found hard to ignore. I randomly skipped to a page in a book I am reading, that talks about letting go of friendships that have played their course. For someone who never gives up on friendships, I was not sure I even wanted to read this chapter, but decided to anyway. It was eye-opening to say the least, as it fit right into what I was feeling at the time. During lunch with friends on the same day, someone brought up FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), and the discussion reinforced my feelings. 

I will let go, I will say no. Saying no is part of letting go.

We say “yes” to many things that don’t make us happy. They don’t necessarily make us sad, but they are really situations you find yourself a part of just because the alternative is “missing out”.

“One of the simplest ways to stay happy is letting go of the things that make you sad”

If I don’t attend that dinner, I will “miss out” on seeing all the people I only get to see a couple of times a year. If you only see these people a couple of times a year, and don’t see them, speak to them or in any way, interact with them except for that dinner, is that relationship valuable?

“At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life”

If I don’t go to that networking event, I will “miss out” on meeting new people. I don’t have enough time to get to know better the people I met at past networking events. If I continue to see people on my social network profiles who I can’t even remember meeting, is attending one more event going to create a stronger network?

“A big part of letting go is recognizing when it is time to stay in a situation and when it is time to move on”

If I don't attend the upcoming baby shower of friends, I will “miss out” on the events in their life? Considering that we only learned of the engagement, wedding, pregnancy, and all other events in their lives through common friends, is it not enough that we learn about the rest of their lives in the same way?

“Letting go does not mean you stop caring, it means you stop trying to force others to”

Today, I said no to the networking event that will be of no further benefit to me as none of the people in that room will remember me and reach out to help me. I also said no to being part of a baby shower that we are invited to only because our common friends don’t know how to exclude us. And I will say no to that dinner to which I am invited in the future where once again, I will make small talk with people who will not remember me until the next dinner.

To say no with confidence, I also let go……

It takes two to make a friendship work

It’s time to write my first serious blog. I promise it will be funny because it is about someone who is funny, loving and so much more. As she celebrates her birthday, I want to acknowledge that she is a gift to so many people who are lucky to have her in her life. She makes me laugh, and she annoys the heck out of me sometimes, but I love her for these reasons and many more.

I met her at a class on Conflict Management in which there was a lot of CONFLICT!! Fall of 2009, to be exact. Since the focus was on just getting through the Semester, I did not really develop a strong relationship with her at that time. I did get a business card, and at a time when I barely used LinkedIn, I even added her as a contact.

Months later, sometime in the Summer of 2010, I emailed her, and was delighted to get a prompt response. Soon, we had assembled a hiking group. Our first hike resulted in her getting blisters on one foot on the way up, and on the other foot on the way down. Not to be discouraged by a small thing like blisters on both feet, she returned the following week with new shoes, plenty of band-aids and an amazing attitude! Our group of hikers disbanded over the next few months, and it was just a couple of us who showed up regularly. We developed a strong friendship while pushing each other to hike 5 plus miles every weekend.

Since then –

• We have completed two Bay 2 Breakers, one together, and one where I lost her mid-way and ran off to the end on my own (something about someone being distracted by people in a certain attire, or lack thereof, comes to mind)
• We have enjoyed family dinners at her parents’, her sister’s and my house.
• We have helped each other clean closets.
• We have embarked on several missions small and big which need a post of their own.
• We have reviewed many homes from sidewalks and provided our suggestions for improvements to no one in particular, and even gave some thought to knocking on doors to let the owners know.
• She is my accountability partner for 2014 goals, and is very proud that one has been accomplished as I write this post on MY blog.
• And so much more……..

Why do I hang out with her? Well, because –

• She put a towel on my face to keep me warm (my feet were cold, not my face).
• She made me take pictures of me wearing T-shirts she wanted to toss as proof that I am using them.
• She sends me texts with yummy food pictures when I am usually very hungry but can’t get away to get food.
• She sent me a selfie from the library holding a book I was nagging her to read, and finished reading it before I did.
• She was so excited about setting up a recurring alarm for our weekend hikes, she set them up for weekdays.
• She does not drink much but always brings enough wine to get others tipsy.
• She has asked that I keep a notebook and pen with me all times, including when I go to bed in case I dream something funny that I want to write down (I am trying to figure out how to write in my sleep).

Happy Birthday, my beautiful friend! I hope to celebrate many birthdays with you, yours and my own. 

Bought a new phone today......

Okay, I finally broke down and bought a new phone!

The choices at the Apple Store were rather, well, more than what they used to be. And frankly, when I looked at the "gold" 5S, I could not figure out what the fuss was about. I liked the silver better, and now I am the proud owner of a white / silver 5S, at least until the 6 is on the market and my husband gets that one and gloats about it.

So far, it is really really awesome! How did I live on 3G when LTE was out there mocking me? The excitement I feel is similar to switching from the 28.8 modem to high speed cable, ha ha.

The fabulous Anarkali outfit

Diwali is the perfect occasion to bring out the colorful Indian clothes. Matching clutch (not purchased together but a more recent gift from my sister-in-law), and bangles / bracelets provided by the wonderful hosts, add to the charm and beauty of the outfit. I had a great time at the party, and enjoyed being photographed as always.

Ground beef and lentil rice pilaf recipe

Most people who I cook for like spicy food, but sometimes I have to make exceptions. It can be challenging to cook something that everyone will enjoy even when many are expecting the "hot" level to be higher. I created this recipe keeping in mind the few who cannot eat spicy food, and the many who would love this even though they expect a different spice level.

Ingredients:
The below ingredients are party size and will be adequate for 12 people. You can change the ingredients to half the portion for a smaller serving, or just enjoy the leftovers - it tastes quite good the next day. 

2 lbs ground beef
1/2 cup toor dal (lentils called toor are available at all Indian grocery stores)
2 cups rice
1/2 tsp freshly sliced garlic
1 tsp black mustard seeds
1 tsp ground coriander seeds
1 tsp freshly ground pepper
4 to 6 Fresh dill sprigs
Cooking oil
Salt to taste

Cook the rice and set aside to cool. Add 2 tsp salt when cooking the rice.

In a saucepan, warm 1 tbsp of cooking oil.
Add the garlic, stir until it changes color and then add the ground beef.
Let the beef fry for 5 minutes, stirring so it does not burn.

In a separate saucepan, warm 1 tbsp of cooking oil.
Add the mustard seeds, and let it fry until the seeds start to sputter.

Add the lentils and fry for 3 minutes.

Add ½ cup water and let the lentils cook on medium heat until all the water has evaporated.

Once all the water has evaporated from the lentils, add the lentils to the saucepan with the beef, add 2 tsp salt, the ground coriander and pepper, and mix well.

Add 1 cup water to the saucepan and cover and cook for 10 minutes.

Check if the lentils are fully cooked. If they are, then cook uncovered until all water has evaporated. If they need more time, add some more water and continue to cook uncovered, and repeat the previous step.

Once the beef and lentil mix is cooked and all the water has evaporated, set is aside for a few minutes to cool.

Chop the dill and gently mix it in with the cooked rice. Add the beef and lentils and mix it in with the rice. 

You can garnish with freshly cut serrano or thai chillies to make it spicier!

This can be served with a traditional Indian or Mediterranean yogurt salad, or can be a side dish to other entrees.

 ENJOY!!

People are more generous than you give them credit for!

I would like to begin 2014 by posting a blog article I wrote for NatureBridge.

Fee Free Weekend with NatureBridge At Yosemite National Park

The generosity of individuals is the highlight of this article, and I hope that we will continue to think of others in the coming weeks, months and years.