Life can be challenging, and then there are existential problems #problems #existential #meaningoflife

“What makes your problems so much bigger than everyone else’s?”

“They’re mine!”

--- Ally McBeal

In no particular order, I present to you my 2018 list of existential problems. As these are subject to change, and their priority will never be consistent, I did not want to waste any time on force ranking them. Right there is a big problem – force ranking problems that are existential.

In September of last year, I stated this while eating an early lunch after a long walk along the Pacifica beach with my Pacifica family – “hangryness is another issue that does not get enough attention, much like ageism”. To me, this is the definition of an existential problem if ever one existed. To be hungry, and then angry, leading to hangryness, is likely one of the worst feelings an otherwise calm, cool, sarcastic, humorous and generally jovial person can experience. If you are wondering how I know I stated this in September, 2017 – it’s because I wrote it down. I write most things down to mitigate another existential problem – not remembering the coolest things I ever said and when I said them. I also write down the coolest things other people say, too, for the same reason.

Siri has managed to learn that I appreciate sarcasm and a sense of humor. But the weather is serious business. And one morning when I asked Siri, what is the temperature right now, Siri proceeded to say, “It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is, it’s always room temperature. Just kidding… it’s 48^oF outside”. I’m sure you’ve heard Siri say funnier things when prompted, but this response to a weather question was shocking enough for me to take a screen shot (once again, so I would never forget). I’ve forgotten why this is an existential problem, but I think it should be.

I am generally a grateful person, but sometimes not grateful enough. In August of last year, while enjoying the beauty of the island of Hawaii, I stalked friends on social media who traveled to Oregon to watch the eclipse, and felt intensely jealous. I don’t even know if I would have traveled to Oregon myself to watch it happen, but I felt envious regardless, and chided myself for not organizing my calendar well. My extraordinarily synced calendar does not have events like the total solar eclipse automatically listed on it, and there are no flags or notifications when you plan something at the same time. I suppose this paragraph has two problems – my wavering gratefulness and my calendar.

Pepsi or Coke? I like Pepsi more than Coke. Drink something like 2 a year. I switched to Coke after the offensive ad featuring Jenner, but I think this can be a low priority problem until I start consuming more soda and have a credible impact on the soda industry.

I don’t have Bran’s vision. If I did, I would tell you everything. For a small fee, of course. And I would not accept daggers from slimy people with slimy names like Littlefinger. This was probably the most frustrating part about Game of Thrones – waiting for Bran to let us see what he sees, which we eventually did, but not at the time of my noting this down on August 6, 2017. If you don’t watch GoT, it’s your problem. 

I think that’s plenty of existential problems to chew on and prioritize for now. And there are plenty more where these came from (my downloaded Facebook timeline).

To end this post, another quote (and warning) from Ally McBeal – “Even if I get past all of my problems, I’m just going to get new ones”

Revisiting goals and creating existential problems #frivolous #goals #existential #problems

A little over a year ago, I made some frivolous goals - When the going gets tough, make some frivolous goals. I was afraid of revisiting that blog post since I didn’t think I had accomplished any of those, but I was pleasantly surprised that I did make some progress.

It’s not like they were SMART goals. Specific – yes, Measurable – somewhat, Achievable – absolutely, Realistic – of course, Timely – possibly. Okay, so there were somewhat SMART goals, but once written, shared, laughed at, and received feedback on, some of them didn’t quite make the top 10 priority list. Therefore, I will do things a little differently for 2018 by revisiting the previous goals and then focusing on some existential problems in future posts.

Update on previous goals

Perfect hair coloring technique

Result – Achieved! Not in that I perfected the technique, but I found a stylist closer to home who I trust, and get my hair colored more frequently. And it’s perfect, so I check this off as Achieved! Now, it would be no fun if there was no back story to the new stylist, right? First visit was a success. Second visit – salon empty, lights switched off, door locked! How could I scare off someone from coloring my hair? It turns out that since my stylist and I have similar names, she added her name to her calendar instead of mine, had a good laugh at scheduling an appointment for herself on the calendar, and went home early!

Make three pairs of boots as good as new

Result – So not achieved, and worse, it’s now four pairs of boots! I think the only intact one has a tiny tear that will soon expand into a more noticeable one. In the meantime, I won 2 gift cards to a local cobbler that I haven’t used, and bought several pairs of new shoes including the currently trendy booties. I also purchased (and returned) two fabulous new pairs of knee high boots which were the right foot size and the right shin length but were clearly not designed for my slender calves. This is, therefore, marked – Not Achieved! And there’s no back story either. It is back on the list for 2018.

Fix the Wii

Result – WHAT WAS I THINKING? Fix the Wii? Where have I been? The goal is 100% achieved by replacing the old Wii with a Fire Stick upstairs and Apple TV downstairs. The first accomplished soon after writing that goal, and the second while trying to figure out how to mirror a movie I created on the iPad that I wanted to share with an audience on the new TV. Of course, since then, newer and better versions of both have been released, and I will soon be behind the times again.

Ride on the Hyde-Powell cable car with a billowing cape

Result – Not Achieved! I have no excuses but I can blame it on the lack of interest by other participants, maybe. I will cautiously add this to the 2018 list, and with or without a cape, I will jump on the Hyde-Powell train next time I’m in the vicinity.

We can’t do everything, but we can do something

Result – Achieved! Not with serious blogs and nagging, but stepping up and doing more. By reaching out to people who were struggling emotionally. By reading more, learning more, channeling my frustration into the right actions with the help of those who are more knowledgeable and doing so much. And by staying focused on what is still good, and how each one of us can’t do everything, but we can do something.  

In 2018, I will focus on some existential problems. They are my existential problems, and may not carry the same weight or any weight at all for you, so please approach with the right amount of cynicism and sense of humor. So long! 

Cardamom chicken

I thought I had a good chance of catching up on the slack in blogging after posting two in October, but it’s November 30^th, and with 2 incomplete drafts not magically completing themselves, I am going to resort to my backup plan – a recipe!

This time, it’s for something I have cooked probably 3 times, and if mine, but more importantly, Sucharita’s memory serves me correctly, it has always tasted great!

I first cooked this when Sucharita was probably in high school and was visiting us during a summer break. As I didn’t want to cook the usual curries, which she was happy to eat as long as there was chicken in it, I decided to try something different – still had chicken in it, still spicy, and from and Indian recipe book, so can still be called Indian food. It is from a book called "the food of INDIA" that I picked up from Costco as an impulse buy. My version is modified slightly to make it simpler. 

Ingredients

3 lbs boneless skinless chicken (cut into pieces of a size that you prefer)

2 tsp cardamom seeds (you can remove these from cardamom pods, but buying the seeds from an Indian grocery store will make this a lot easier)

1 tbsp garlic paste

1 tbsp ginger paste

1 cup plain yogurt (I always use whole milk yogurt, either Verka or Mountain High)

1 tbsp ground pepper (best if freshly ground)

2 tsp salt

1 can (approx. 12 ounces) coconut milk

6 to 10 green chillies, cut in halves lengthwise (based on your preferred spice level)

3 tbsp lemon juice

2 tbsp cooking oil

2 tbsp chopped cilantro (for cooking)

Cilantro for garnishing

Note: you can use less yogurt and/or coconut milk if you want the chicken to be drier.

Grind the cardamon seeds, and mix in a bowl with the ground pepper, ginger and garlic paste, salt and yogurt. Add the chicken and coat well and leave in the fridge to marinate for at least an hour. 

Heat the cooking oil on medium heat in a heavy pan. Add the marinated chicken along with all the ingredients in the bowl, and fry for a couple of minutes. Stir in the green chillies, and fry for an additional minute. Add the coconut milk and cilantro, bring to a boil, and let it simmer for 20 to 30 minutes, until the chicken is cooked through. Stir in the lemon juice, and season with additional salt if needed. Add the cilantro and serve over Jasmine or Basmati rice. 

Enjoy!

X marks the spot – it’s the little things #Hawaii2017

The fun started before the trip with a lengthy phone call with the soon-to-be 5 year old who had very specific questions on the location of the condo, how far it was from the pool, if it was on the low floor or high floor, how many bags are allowed, who will take the bags, how early we need to wake up and leave for the sunrise, how will the pickup and drop-off at the airport work, and one important question that she forgot and had to schedule a separate call for – the playlist! She also wanted to know when the three adults besides her mamma were going “skydiving” so she and mamma could schedule their trip to the pool, and wanted to be sure that Fayeza provided instructions on how to get to the pool before leaving. Many of the questions were mixed with a super emphasized, “Fayeza, I am going to be 5 soon” statement!

I reassured her that there would be no waking up early for a sunrise (although we did one morning for a glimpse of the Solar Eclipse which we ended up watching on TV), but we would be going to a higher mountain and would need warm clothes. Two years in a row, the first thing I packed was her little jacket. I also created a playlist with plenty of Shakira and Pitbull plus Shape of You and “that radio song” (Cheap Thrills) along with some good old rock n roll for the rest of us in the car.

The first day started with a new version of “knock knock”

Knock knock - Who’s there – Jug - Jug who - Jaggu, I love you!

That the first place we visited right after checking in was the pool is no surprise. The now already 5 year old showed me a few new tricks, and also her muscles – the floats on her arms. She stared at me with great concern when I decided to walk on the treadmill instead of jumping into the pool right away.

The following day was the much anticipated visit to Volcanoes National Park. My weakness for purchasing reusable bags was quite evident at the gift store, and I also purchased a special bag to carry my water bottle and keys. Balanced the bottle bag with my cross-body purse, and I was ready to lead the hike into the Volcano’s rim. We took some lovely pictures along the rim with the plume of smoke rising from the Volcano in the back, and even sang a lovely birthday greeting for Manjeev. As we sweated our way on the trail towards the parking to head to the Lava Tube, I suddenly heard a little voice yell, “X marks the spot, Fayeza” followed by Aloma’s laughter. I stopped in my tracks to examine “the spot” which only made Aloma laugh more. Apparently, the “X” was on my back, formed by the straps of my new bottle bag and the purse.

Of course, we decided it was picture-worthy but not before the straps were adjusted to make the X look as perfect and centered as possible. 

In addition to that and hundreds of other pictures, there were several pictures laying on inviting horizontal tree trunks to send to Geralyn and Sheena, and stops at various spots to capture the lava plume in the ocean. Plus a few shots of the Sea Arch, which when said as one word, sounds like biatch according to Lester.

Wow! This is only the beginning, and the stories of the sunsets, Mauna Kea and beach bumming will have to be covered in a later blog! It will be another incredible list of little things (and high jumps) plus beautiful memories.

Snowstorms, hailstorms, and friendships that weather storms

Snowstorm: a heavy fall of snow, especially with a high wind

Snow: atmospheric water vapor frozen into ice crystals and falling in light white flakes or lying on the ground as a white layer

Hailstorm: a storm of heavy hail

Hail: pellets of frozen rain that fall in showers from cumulonimbus clouds

Friendships: the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends

Weather the storm: survives difficulties

Ha! I am finally getting to this blog post with snowstorms and hailstorms in the title when we have a heat wave, and it is a balmy 89 degrees outside! It's fitting, however, that I am writing about my first year in the U.S. and remembering that it was approximately 89 degrees in Bombay when I left, and close to 25 degrees in Chicago when I landed at the airport. I cleared immigration and customs and stepped out of the protected arrivals area to look for the person picking me up, and it was so cold, I felt the surfactant in my lungs freeze as I took a breath in. After a comedy of errors worthy of it's own post, I finally found Peggy (who had been standing at an exit with a post-it with Fayeza in ball point pen), and we headed to my first residence at Joyce Stockler's house in Elmwood Park, where I was greeted by Heidi, the dog, and 3 very unhappy cats. Saving grace, my soon-to-be first roommate, Aparna.

Aparna set me up with her in the little attic bedroom with 2 twin beds. When I woke up the next morning, I experienced my first shock! Snow, but not the pretty kind, bare trees, and not a single sound outside. I was used to waking up to the sounds of chirping birds and crowing roosters, and the quiet stillness was both fascinating and depressing. But Aparna took me shopping, and we took the Harlem bus to the closest K-Mart. Since it was below freezing, Aparna loaned me a winter jacket that was heavier than me, and went all the way to my toes. Because we were adventurous, we decided to walk back home on Harlem Ave, and it was only much later that we realized how stupid that was. Just like it was only a few months ago when I was making a list when writing this draft that I realized how many firsts I had with Aparna.

First roommate
First shopping partner
First dinner partner at Red Lobster
First dinner partner on Devon Street (I think it was a restaurant called Gandhi, and Joyce's dad took us there)
First out-of-town trip (to Lincoln, IL to visit Poonam in her new apartment)
First movie in the US (The Air Up There)
First really long drive in a blizzard (280 miles in 13 hours)

We have so many firsts, some of them only mine but she was an important part of it. We went to an Amish town in IL together, and enjoyed it just as much as The Signature Lounge at the 96th (maybe even more, ha ha). There was a moment of weakness when we considered going fishing when hanging out by a lake in the Midwest - could have been our first, and my last. We had the same car, and we both had a love-hate relationship with it. She used her's a lot longer than I used mine, and she drove it to California.

I am sure there are many I have left out that I will remember during a conversation. Laughing, of course, has always been a big part of it, and I was treated to a visit to Laffing Sal with her and Umesh when Sal resided at the Mechanical Museum next to the Cliff House.

I still have the cardigan we bought at K-Mart on my first shopping trip (I did give away all the other stuff but had to keep at least one thing I bought that day). And I only recently gave away my first rolling carry-on, a birthday gift from Aparna, Poonam and Lena way back when! The mug I cherished (another birthday gift) for more than 20 years finally chipped but the little stuffed tiger that came with it is safe.

Ha! I am rambling on and forgot there is a hailstorm to be remembered. When visiting Poonam on what seemed to be a nice day, just as I took the exit ramp from I-5, it turned pitch dark, and I could only hear the sound of the heavy hail falling on the car roof. I had never experienced hail before and I was even more terrified as there was a semi-trailer taking the exit right behind me. It was only when the the hailstorm stopped that I realized we were surrounded by golf-ball size hail, and like all disciplined traffic in the Midwest, all vehicles had come to a slow and complete stop until the storm passed.

Aparna, Poonam and I didn't have an easy start when we first arrived, and it didn't get easier in the first couple of years. We were strong, persistent, gritty women but most importantly, we had each other as well as some very important friends who always kept our spirits up. I have a more vivid memory of watching Lion King with them in Danville, IL than other more spectacular movies since. Gosh, we went to the hot air balloon festival the first summer, and were excited because we traveled there in a standing-room only bus! We managed to get lost in Indianapolis, which was far smaller and less populated than it is today. This was after I locked my keys in the rental car to which we didn't have a spare key!

I can't figure out how to end this blog, so I will do it very simply. To friendships that last through the toughest times and survive forever - I love you!

Egg Curry

It’s funny that I am posting an egg curry recipe as it is not really a favorite food, and I have probably cooked it only once before. As always, there is a story related to the recipe that I will tell (and hopefully you will read) before I describe the recipe.

After a grocery shopping and cooking marathon last weekend for Jasmine’s farewell party, and living on leftover food for a couple of days, I decided that some simple meals would work fine for the next few days. That thought led me to creating my own version of a kale salad quesadilla with Cajun seasoning (recipe to be provided another day). I quickly tired of the two other versions of my so-called healthy quesadillas, and Jay didn’t even want to try what was a delicious and unusual creation. And after 2 days at a conference, I felt that I wanted a more authentic home-cooked meal which didn’t involve grocery shopping for ingredients. So I decided to do a Chopped kitchen version of cooking a meal – placed all the possible ingredients on the countertop, and started thinking of how to convert them into a meal. I had everything except a good protein.

Then I saw it! Half a case of hard-boiled eggs, from Costco! Credit for this great find at Costco goes to Poonam and Amarjot. I laughed at myself for considering egg curry as my Chopped kitchen meal, but I didn’t really have a good excuse besides just eating hard-boiled eggs with a side salad for dinner (and letting Jay eat instant noodles).

Egg Curry

Ingredients

6 eggs, hard-boiled and halved vertically

1 tbsp cooking oil

I large onion, chopped

3 medium tomatoes, chopped

3 green chillies, either sliced half or cut into small pieces (long spicy ones or thai peppers – you can add up to 6 to make the curry spicier)

A few curry leaves (if you have them – available at most good Indian stores)

1 tsp garlic paste

1 tsp ginger paste

1 tsp mustard seeds

1 tsp red chilli powder

1tsp coriander powder

Pinch of turmeric

Salt to taste (2 tsp should be enough)

Note: Use a pan large enough to fit the eggs in one layer.

Heat 1 tbsp of cooking oil in the pan, and add the onion. Add the mustard seeds, green chillies and curry leaves as the onions start changing color. Turn down the heat to medium, and when the onions start to brown, add the ginger and garlic paste and mix well. Add the remaining spices, fry for about 20 seconds, and add the tomatoes. Mix the ingredients well as they cook together. Once the tomatoes have cooked, approx. 5 minutes, layer the boiled eggs, yolk-side facing up, on top of the cooked ingredients. Turn down the heat to low, and let the eggs soak in the flavors as you add spoonfuls of the cooked ingredients on top of each egg. Switch the heat off in 5 minutes, and let the curry sit for 10 minutes or so before serving.

Serve over steamed rice.

Add coriander / cilantro leaves over the cooked curry for additional flavor. As I didn’t have any in my Chopped kitchen, I did not include it in the ingredients :).

I am happy with how this turned out, and I might cook this again, with an intent to make egg curry next time. So happy with the process and outcome that I even have pictures for this blog post. 

My lemon tree is a lemon, and other non-gratitudes #gratitudes

Yes, my lemon tree is a lemon! After 12 years of hoping that it would provide enough juicy lemons to last for weeks, if not months, I am giving up hope. The first few years, there were lemons which provided a few drops of juice if lucky. Now the tree won't even provide any lemons. Oh well! I have to trek to the neighbor's tree with the tall-handled picker to get good lemons. My neighbor's tree has lemons big enough and juicy enough to provide half a cup of juice each!

It was an adventurous week with cooking ingredients. While shopping for mint, I saw Thai basil, and decided to try cooking Thai basil chicken. As is usually the case with my following recipes, I tweaked a few ingredients, but followed the instructions carefully for the basil as I had never used it before. Added it at the very end, and turned off the stove in 20 seconds. Well, the chicken was absolutely delicious but it didn't taste anything like Thai basil chicken. Since I had plenty of basil left over, I attempted it again, with the same result. With absolutely no faith in the third time's the charm nonsense, I added all that was leftover but after the stove was already turned off, and I could now taste the basil. But without the rest of the ingredients, it was not really what I was aiming for, but delicious regardless.

After a long hike on Sunday, I decided that it was going to be an easy pasta day. While shopping for pasta, I sighted egg noodles, and with my new found interest in Thai cooking, I decided to prepare pad kee mao. Things went rather well except the noodles I picked were the short ones meant for chicken noodle soup. Another delicious dish with a slightly off ingredient.

While I am writing about non-gratitudes, it's important to mention that I am still looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and have hiked hundreds of miles in my search. No pot of gold but I am in better shape than I ever was, have seen amazingly beautiful things, and best of all, made a lot of wonderful friends.

This week is off to a good start! Warm and sunny day, and coincidentally, date day with Sucharita. We had a wonderful time at the Half Moon Bay State Park Beach. We were sweating and regretted bringing jackets for backup instead of shorts! Finished the day with Fabiana and Oliver. Fabiana wanted to walk Oliver, but he walked us instead. Now it's time to finish the leftover partly authentic pad kee mao.

When the going gets tough, make some frivolous goals

Since none of the thoughtfully written meaningful blogs are hitting the completion point, I am going to break the drought by publishing a slightly frivolous list of 2017 goals.

Perfect hair coloring technique

My awesome stylist suggested I try coloring my own hair in between visits. The first two attempts earlier this year provided no results as I didn't leave the color in long enough (followed instructions that didn't help). So, I decided to leave it in for not twice, but three times longer than recommended time. Better results, but not "stylist" perfect. At the next attempt, I added the color, did some chores, watched tv, listened to a podcast while I walked around the house, and about 3 hours later, I washed my hair. Well, it was kind of perfect except it was about 4 shades darker than my natural hair color!! I gasped every time I looked in the mirror at the stranger with very dark hair.

Make three pairs of boots as good as new

During a tragic customer call, while my awesome teammates held their head in shock, I jumped into action, and decided to kick the trash can with all the fury I could generate. It had no impact on my teammates shock, but it ripped my boots. People who noticed the tear on the side of the boot assured me that it wasn't really noticeable. I put the pair aside, until small tears mysteriously appeared on two other pairs. Since going to the cobbler isn't really an easy thing to do, I planned all boot-wearing occasions around the last intact pair, which severely limited my ability to pick clothes. Over a few months, I forgot about the tears. Wore the brown boots and noticed that my socks were wet after stepping into a puddle. Took the smartest boots to wear to Kinky Boots, and noticed an expanding tear on the side of the boot when attempting to sit fashionably with the 4-inch heel pointed just right. I am now back to using the one surviving pair and planning clothing around it. The urgency of visiting the few existing neighborhood cobblers has increased significantly!

Fix the Wii 

The TV downstairs is not a "smart" TV, and we have managed to use the dinosaur to watch Prime movies using the Wii. But then we did something smart and got a smart TV for upstairs, and DirectTV with a new internet connection. With the smart TV apps, I have discovered an amazingly unlimited supply of award winning shows on Prime, Netflix and Hulu that make real TV irrelevant and a waste of time! However, sitting in bed during a binge session of 4 episodes of Man in the High Castle or Stranger Things has resulted in neck and back pain. It's also way too bright upstairs during the day. But the Wii does not work like it should, and I have just not devoted enough time to troubleshooting so I can watch Prime and Netflix on the dinosaur TV downstairs from the comfortable sofa!

Ride on the Hyde-Powell cable car with a billowing cape

After wearing a tutu all day in Disneyland for two little girls and a grown up bestie, I have been increasingly but only slightly braver about costumes. I made a tshirt for the Super Hero run to wear with the cape. Well, I bought the plain shirt and paint, and made a friend paint it, but same thing, right? So, when I recently found out that some of my Super Hero friends have not been on the spectacular Hyde-Powell line the right way - on the outside, screaming like you are on a roller coaster when you go over the steep hills, I decided that must happen. And what better way to do it than with our billowing capes? We will save some lives and kill a vampire or two while we are at it.

We can't do everything, but we can do something

I know you either love me enough to read this far or just love my writing. The most frivolous of all is my goal to nag people into reading my upcoming more serious blogs. Nag people to rise above helpnessness and despair, and take action. I need to nag others so I can feed off their positive energy and do more myself. If you read this far and laughed with me, please return the favor and make someone smile. And if you can save the life of a human being who has no place to turn, please donate to SAMS, an organization that selflessly and tirelessly works with desperate people in Syria.

If you prefer something different, please read the below article by Nicholas Kristoff, a personal superhero whose recommendations carry a lot of weight.

Forget the Tie. Give a Gift That Matters.

It's the little things #Maui2016

A little over a year ago, I wrote "It's the little things #Oahu2015". It was a blog about our trip to Oahu that covered a few things that make us laugh even a year later. This time around, the fun started the day before we left at the Pacifica Fog Fest, where many of us got a tan before even packing our bags.

Speaking of packing, the first thing in my bag was the winter coat, not the beach wear. I figured it would be easier to buy swim wear in Maui, but harder to get the necessary warm clothing for the Summit of Haleakala (it was 36 degrees when we went there a few years ago). Since I was checking in a bag, I offered space to those who were not. Turns out I was the only one checking in a bag, and once I added my jacket, the cooler bag, the little one's jacket and raincoat, and other things that were not mine, I ended up taking a carry-on, too. In addition to being anxious about my jacket not making it if the bag was lost by the airline, I was now anxious about the little jacket, too.

All jackets arrived safely in the morning on the flight with me, and the only thing I worried about on the flight was the turbulence caused by Jay's laughter while listening to three podcasts of "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" (using my iPhone and headphones).

The four year old arrived with a lot of energy and a great enthusiasm to explore every body of water. She was quite okay getting up and into the car by 4am to head out to the Summit for the sunrise, but was very confused by why it was so cold in Hawaii. She did provide the best description for our pictures of the spectacular sunrise - "this pictue is in the God books". Keeping in line with the God theme, Jay got instructions to the best fried chicken at the bottom of the mountain from a Jehova's Witness volunteer at the Visitor Center!

We survived the drive back playing I Spy followed by Knock Knock. I Spy was a success. Knock Knock was a success for a different reason. It went something like this -

Lester - Knock Knock
Child - Who's there?
Lester - Child
Child - It couldn't be!! 

We didn't make it past the laughter to continue playing Knock Knock, but we did get in a picnic at a Beach Park, an afternoon in the pool and a teppanyaki dinner at Kobe's in Lahaina. The little one went to bed after firmly stating, "Maui is very tiring".

Arpitha worked on Wednesday, and the rest of us spent the day at the beach. I was told by the little one that building a sand castle is hard work, and we have to work hard. When I told her I was on vacation, and would not work, she changed strategies. She told me vacations are for fun, and building a sand castle was fun. So I agreed. In exchange for helping her, I was rewarded with an exfoliating wet sand back massage by exquisite little hands accompanied by singing.

While I went for a walk the next morning since everyone was still asleep, the late risers conspired to leave for Hana without me. My little angel was not having any of that, and declared, "we cannot leave without Fayeza, and that's the TRUTH!". She made sure I was in the car before we drove off.

Later that evening, Arpitha exposed us to (and may have traumatized us with) YouTube videos called Eye to Eye and Angel by Tahir Shah. I am still traumatized enough to not go to the link to post it here. Because of her, we also went zip lining - something we always wanted to do but never got around to doing!

Jay declared on the way to the airport that we did good, as we had no accidents, we didn't lose anything or anyone. He forgot that he lost two room keys, and still had one in his pocket while going through TSA that he proudly kept just to show he didn't lose that one.

The Summit of Haleakala, the Road to Hana (and beyond to the Pools of Oheo), yoga lessons by the four year old, sand castles, ocean, waterfalls, beaches, hiking, shave ice, luau, and so much more - each of those is linked to a memorable moment, often captured in pictures, but always captured in the ❤️.

So long, Maui!

White Elephant and beyond - the happy secret to better work #gratitudes

If you read my gratitude blogs and think I have a perfect life, I don’t. I only blog positive things, and my positive perspective of events that were less pleasant. There are many reasons for this, and one of them is that writing about what I am grateful for keeps me grounded during stressful times. It reminds me about one of my core principals – “it’s the small things”. If you are waiting to win the Powerball to be grateful, you will miss so many little things in your journey through life.

In my first gratitude blog, Simple gratitudes, I wrote about two TED talks that inspired me to write my daily gratitudes, and I now have core values inspired by Achor and Pasricha’s talks. How these talks inspired me and how I practice what I learned is in that blog, and today, I want to continue with my December gratitudes.

The week of Christmas started with our team’s holiday dinner. A few days before the dinner, Kelly and I decided that it would be fun to have a White Elephant gift exchange, but to counteract the exhaustion of getting prank gifts, we decided that they can be funny, but also need to be usable. And below is my “recap” of how a program management team does a White Elephant gift exchange (my interpretation, of course).

>>>>>

Preparing for HyperCare – with the perfect White Elephant gifts

• Kelly – delighted with the new clock that will keep us on time for all meetings (she will also schedule a training session for gift wrapping)
• Ashutosh – a mug with the 2016 calendar to remind him that every day in January is a Monday
• Pablo – so happy with his new ceramic mug that can travel to Bangalore with him
• Venu – a new humorous card each morning to remind us to laugh
• Merve – neck pillow for naps in the command center
• Michael – will never spill any of the precious much-needed coffee
• Fayeza – who will stop at nothing to nab the pillow for her own nap
• Shanice – needs the spill-proof mug more than Michael does
• Susan – believes that the schedule will reveal something good (and she is right)
• Merve – plenty of candy for the first few minutes on the first day of HyperCare
• Michael – grabs the fancy (and beautiful) tea maker for preparing soothing tea between tough meetings
• Susan – will be the most hydrated in all meetings with her fancy water bottle

>>>>>

This project has been one of the most challenging ones I have worked on. My stress, blood glucose, and often, blood pressure have been on the rise. I have more grey hair, and have to get my hair colored more frequently. It has also been very rewarding, I have learned a lot, and I have grown both professionally and personally. The most important thing, of course, is the relationships I have built, the trust I have earned, and the friendships I cherish.  I am grateful that I get to work with this amazing team, who motivate me, inspire me, drive me crazy, and keep me sane.

Friendship at first sight and more December #gratitudes

I am savoring my cup of aromatic and delicious Gyokuro tea as I continue with the second half of my December gratitude blog. It is a cherished gift from a friend who bought it in Kyoto, and it has now become my Sunday afternoon routine to drink one of the teas from the gift box. I am grateful for Susan, with whom I have spent more time than anyone else in the last year. She takes care of me not just by bringing me unique teas, but giving me strength when I need it the most. 

The night after Nate's birthday, it was time to celebrate Gosia's. This woman is magical, at least to me. The first time I met her, I knew in my heart that she was someone I wanted to have in my life. Yes, it was "friendship at first sight". She makes me feel loved, and in a strange sort of way, she makes me feel safe. I am grateful that I had the honor of celebrating her milestone birthday.

The morning started with a hike. Yes, it was quite easy to wake up early to head out to Wunderlich, after a few tequila shots the night before and getting home at 2am. It had rained heavily the previous day, and had started to drizzle when I left. Geralyn and I were not going to be deterred from the last hike of the year by a little rain. The beauty that awaited us, in an already beautiful place, was overwhelming. We had joked about how we would burst into song and dance when The Meadows turned green, a sight many of of my new hiking companions have never witnessed because of the drought. Well, The Meadows was green, and the hills were alive! Unbelievably, it was I who asked Geralyn to sing "the hills are alive with the sound of music" with me. We pulled up the lyrics, found the music, and sang along with Julie Andrews while recording The Meadows. I am grateful that The Meadows exist a short enough distance from where I live so I can make it there on so many weekends. I am grateful that we have rain. I am grateful for the melodies the beautiful surroundings inspire. 

The evening started perfectly. I had already decided to debut the gorgeous dress Poonam bought me. Is there a better way to debut a birthday gift from a dear friend other than at the birthday of another dear friend? The necklace from Palvika complimented the dress perfectly, and “I was ready, set, go” for drinks with the Vohra crew before leaving for the party. I am grateful for Poonam, for many reasons, but in this case, gifting me many party dresses over the years, some that have made me famous (or infamous), and nursing me back to a stable standing state after one of those parties resulted in my hitting and staying on the floor for a while.

And that is a perfect lead in to the next gratitude. I planned to go to the Macha Holiday Party, the best one every year, after Gosia’s birthday celebration. I was, however, delayed because I was asked to pick up food on the way home for the 4 musketeers who were already at the party. It was midnight when I got to the party, and the 4 musketeers, whose names you can guess, had left the party. I am grateful that my friend Kerri let me in, although almost all the other guests had left, and played one more song to dance with me to before I delivered the food. I am grateful for Kerri, the most organized person I know, who willingly gave into a little chaos by my showing up late.

So many gratitudes for one weekend, I have barely made it to the week of Christmas. More motivation to continue writing as the gratitudes, many of them inspired by a lot of funny moments, will continue. 

Another year, another blog, that trip to Vegas, and reaching out for a new normal

I did a lot of reflecting when writing my last birthday blog - Call me crazy. A month and a half later, do I have more to add? More hikes and more selfies for sure, but there is always something more, sometime with the same co-conspirators, and sometimes new ones. 

For someone who swore never to wear a tutu in public, and never owned one, I did it again! In fact, my co-conspirator Fabiana and I were the only ones wearing a tutu on the Thanksgiving Gobble Wobble race, and had the pleasure of being stopped frequently to have our picture taken. Because running at 10K in 40 degree F weather was not enough, I went hiking with Steph in 36 degree weather on Friday morning. Even my car warned me that it was only 36 outside! But that was not going to stop me from the Saturday hike to Skyline, the 4th this year, with my regular bunch of crazy hiking friends, and even getting a movie companion for the evening. All that activity helped burn off any extra helpings at our Thanksgiving dinner. 

But now, let's talk about what happened in Vegas. Yes, what happened in Vegas will not stay in Vegas for this crazy bunch of friends, as we are only going to build on the success of that great trip. I planned it perfectly - with the right group of people, of course. Some older, some younger, but all fun-loving friends who went on a little birthday celebration with me. Steph and Lovey really put the pedal to the metal by getting on the flight and room reservations, months in advance. Mark, our aspiring Olympic weigh-lifter in training went with us as our bodyguard. And Jeni, our nightclub VIP guest list connection was the star of the weekend. 

Some of the highlights of the trip included my first trip to a Vegas nightclub, tipsy bodyguard, lots of tequila, lots of dancing, lots of coffee to stay awake for the lots of dancing and tequila, MJ One, another visit to a nightclub with a sober bodyguard, more tequila,more dancing, and pizza at 2am. 

Lovey got over her frustration with her Fitbit not recording her dance steps by walking up to the very last minute before boarding the plane back home. She also discovered an enjoyable way of gambling, and winning, by hanging out with me at the roulette table. She did lose most of her winnings by sneaking out of the nightclub to go gambling by herself. 

To summarize as they do in the Amazing Race - 
20 miles walked
10,000 dance steps (accurately recorded by Jeni's Fitbit)
8 hours of sleep over 3 nights/days
"x" number of shots (no one counted)
"x 3" coffee consumed
4 meals at celebrity chef restaurants

Let's just say the trip in Mark's famous tipsy sentence was "one, two, three, four, boom"! 

To everyone who celebrated my bonus year with me, thank you! My life is what it is because I have you in it.

In conclusion, the single biggest gift this year was my brother's trip. It was only 3 days long, but spending even that with him after 3 years reminded me of how much I miss him and his family, and wish they were closer. 

Wishing everyone a joyous, healthy, prosperous and active 2016! Reach for the stars, and think of every new challenge as the new normal. 

Call me crazy..... A blog for my birthday

It's raining! It's cold! And it's 6 am on a Sunday morning! The first thought after texting, "yes, we are" to Sheena's question, "the sky is falling, are we still on?" was to stay under the covers for 15 more minutes. But I was wide awake, and instead of wanting to go back to sleep or curling up with a book, I wanted to get into my warm rain-proof clothes and hit the road! 

Yes, call me crazy, but Geralyn and Sheena have made waking up early on Sunday mornings somewhat of an adventure to look forward to. 

From the first time that Geralyn showed up to hike with me, really nervous about being able to keep up and finish what I claimed was an easy 3 mile loop, to the day she asked when we would hike the 13 mile loop I had promised, it has been months of very joyful hikes every weekend. And then Sheena came along for a 13 mile hike, breaking all kinds of records on her first day using her Fitbit. The jewel in the crown - Geralyn's idea to hike at Land's End followed by brunch at Louis' for Sheena's birthday. Aloma joining us was a big bonus! 

We walked, we laughed, we took a lot of pictures. And we started a new tradition - birthday celebrations at Land's End! 

Call me crazy, because I started my birthday morning by waking up at 4:45 am, driving my cousin to the airport, and then heading out for my practice 10K to prepare for the Thanksgiving Gobble Wobble. I answered birthday calls, texts and Facebook messages while on my walk/run. And I spent some time thinking back on the year since I wrote my first blog for my birthday. 

This year, I did a few things that most people who know me would consider either crazy or just not me! I made choices that would normally scare me, I made decisions that were unlike me. I learned that, in life, you often feel that you are rationalizing decisions to reconcile them with your core values, but when you are rooted in those values, you are simply finding ways to make sure that your decisions don't go against them. This allowed me to open my heart to new friendships, and embrace people I felt I had nothing in common with (and could never work with). It made me a believer in second chances, for myself and for others. 

Among other things, I spent a whole day in Disneyland wearing a tutu, and even danced with the band. And I wore pink Minnie Mouse ears with a red tutu - shockingly unfashionable! I climbed on a fallen tree, and tried to balance on it. I crawled up on a tree trunk, and pretended to sleep (while getting sticky sap all over my clothes). 

Call me crazy, but I believe that being in the company of nature with someone else who believes in you is the most therapeutic thing you can do for yourself. 

I am going to end this birthday blog with a quote from Sheena that is going to be my mantra. 

"Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no selfie hard enough" 

It's the little things #Oahu2015

The ocean, the beaches, the mountains, Pearl Harbor, and many many more breathtaking experiences await on a trip to Oahu. I will blog about that another day. Today, it's the little things that made us, and still make us laugh that I want to put down in words.

When you get on the Interstate..... Wait, what? Yes, there are Interstate highways in Oahu. I don't think they connect to another State in the United States, or we could drive to Oahu from California.

There are people who wear beach wrap hoodies. Apparently, it protects their head when it rains. I don't think Stephany was thinking about that when she bought one. So when a torrential rainstorm hit us, she pulled up her hood and proudly said, "Fayeza, look! I have a hood!" Except, the hoodie was a crochet pattern with big holes in it. Her head was just as wet as the rest of her. 

The only person who didn't see the perfect parking spot that was completely different from what everyone else in the car saw was the child in the child seat. She kept her opinion to herself as she was asleep until after the big car was parked, and missed out on the discussions, suggestions, hand signals and cursing that accompanied our parking adventures. Jay's hang loose signal at every opportunity only added to the hilarity. 

Speaking of the child, we learned a few new things from her. She does not sleep when her "body is not tired". She can't sleep when she drinks. But best of all, a new word - "dangerrocks"! A word she came up with when I asked her to be careful on the "dangerous rocks". 

The most precious moment of the trip was standing in a shaded spot on Lanakai beach, listening to and looking at the beautiful ocean, and suddenly hearing a little voice singing - "do a deer, a female deer......." 

So long, Oahu!