Authenticity - being true to one's personality, spirit or character
Accountability - an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's own actions
Advocacy - the art or process of supporting a cause or proposal
Authenticity, accountability and advocacy are my 3 A's, they are my core values, and they influence many of my other values. They influence my decisions, my behavior, and most importantly, my relationships both personally and professionally. I try to live by these values every day, and when I falter, I know it and can feel it's impact.
I am starting with accountability as it is influencing my writing this blog on the last day of March. I made a commitment to myself to blog at least once a month, and I almost missed out March this year, even though I had 31 days to get it done. I have a list of topics, and I could not get over my wanting that perfect blog for the person I am writing about, and as a result, no blog post. In my areas of improvement last year, I had the below two pictures - clearly I have some work to do, as I am waiting for perfection and most definitely over thinking.
Of course, that's not all I value with accountability. I like people who are accountable for their actions, I like working in environments where there is accountability for responsibilities and actions, and I also make sure that I take responsibility for my own decisions and actions. Which brings me to the what is really my first value, authenticity.
I often struggle with authenticity, not because it is difficult to be authentic, but there is so much pressure to be someone I am not. For some, I am too aggressive, and to others, I am too nice. Often, I am too loud, and sometimes people are offended by my honesty, whereas others think I need to be more open. To be empathetic and caring is being too nice. To push people to be accountable for their actions is being too aggressive. I get excited when I am passionate about something, and somehow some people's ears can't handle that, and to tone it down is to not show enough passion.
On April 1st last year, a very dramatic event happened, which I won't talk about to protect the people who were affected. It brought out the best in me, at least that is how I think of it. I stepped up, I made difficult choices, and I stepped in to help while many others stood by. I was being my authentic self, caring for others before myself, making sure that I could help so the impact of the event was minimized. I was also influenced by my third core value, advocacy. This time, the cause did not involve finding a cure for cancer or eliminating childhood obesity, but the act of simply taking care of one human being.
The weeks that followed tested every value, and challenged me emotionally and physically. Along with the encouragement and advice by Jay, it was sheer grit that got me through those weeks. Months later, I was asked how I successfully turned around this difficult situation where I was almost ready to leave the project, to one where my client and everyone I worked with wanted me on the project. I had a very clever answer, I think, but honestly, I didn't do anything different.
I wrote this in my birthday blog a few months ago - "I learned that, in life, you often feel that you are rationalizing decisions to reconcile them with your core values, but when you are rooted in those values, you are simply finding ways to make sure that your decisions don't go against them. This allowed me to open my heart to new friendships, and embrace people I felt I had nothing in common with (and could never work with). It made me a believer in second chances, for myself and for others."
Coming back to the present, I find myself living more by these values every day, and I also hold myself accountable for my own well-being. People who know me are aware that I make plans and have a list for everything. I hope that many of them are also aware that this has to do with a lot of uncertainty that I have faced in my life. Having a schedule keeps me rooted, makes me feel safe. This does not mean that I have a plan for everything, and both at work and in personal life, I go with the flow and react to changes with enthusiasm.
Although I make plans, I have also been open to changing those plans to fit in someone else's plan. Sometimes this is good, but sometimes, it upsets me. It is good when my plan was to go shopping, and something better came along. It upsets me when someone decided to fit me in because they suddenly have an evening free or just realized that they had not remembered to add me to their plan.
That brings me to the final part in the blog - adding the goal. I will continue to be me, make plans and have a list (staying authentic). Instead of being upset at others for being inconsiderate, I will change my reaction and be responsible for not their's, but my actions (being accountable to myself). I will advocate for myself like I do for others, and not be afraid to put myself first, especially with those who are not thinking of my best interest (advocate for myself). This will not change what I do to advocate for the causes I believe in.
In conclusion, it comes down to - say yes when I can (and want to), say no when I have a plan and don't want to change it, and feel good about doing both.
Accountability - an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's own actions
Advocacy - the art or process of supporting a cause or proposal
Authenticity, accountability and advocacy are my 3 A's, they are my core values, and they influence many of my other values. They influence my decisions, my behavior, and most importantly, my relationships both personally and professionally. I try to live by these values every day, and when I falter, I know it and can feel it's impact.
I am starting with accountability as it is influencing my writing this blog on the last day of March. I made a commitment to myself to blog at least once a month, and I almost missed out March this year, even though I had 31 days to get it done. I have a list of topics, and I could not get over my wanting that perfect blog for the person I am writing about, and as a result, no blog post. In my areas of improvement last year, I had the below two pictures - clearly I have some work to do, as I am waiting for perfection and most definitely over thinking.
Of course, that's not all I value with accountability. I like people who are accountable for their actions, I like working in environments where there is accountability for responsibilities and actions, and I also make sure that I take responsibility for my own decisions and actions. Which brings me to the what is really my first value, authenticity.
I often struggle with authenticity, not because it is difficult to be authentic, but there is so much pressure to be someone I am not. For some, I am too aggressive, and to others, I am too nice. Often, I am too loud, and sometimes people are offended by my honesty, whereas others think I need to be more open. To be empathetic and caring is being too nice. To push people to be accountable for their actions is being too aggressive. I get excited when I am passionate about something, and somehow some people's ears can't handle that, and to tone it down is to not show enough passion.
On April 1st last year, a very dramatic event happened, which I won't talk about to protect the people who were affected. It brought out the best in me, at least that is how I think of it. I stepped up, I made difficult choices, and I stepped in to help while many others stood by. I was being my authentic self, caring for others before myself, making sure that I could help so the impact of the event was minimized. I was also influenced by my third core value, advocacy. This time, the cause did not involve finding a cure for cancer or eliminating childhood obesity, but the act of simply taking care of one human being.
The weeks that followed tested every value, and challenged me emotionally and physically. Along with the encouragement and advice by Jay, it was sheer grit that got me through those weeks. Months later, I was asked how I successfully turned around this difficult situation where I was almost ready to leave the project, to one where my client and everyone I worked with wanted me on the project. I had a very clever answer, I think, but honestly, I didn't do anything different.
I wrote this in my birthday blog a few months ago - "I learned that, in life, you often feel that you are rationalizing decisions to reconcile them with your core values, but when you are rooted in those values, you are simply finding ways to make sure that your decisions don't go against them. This allowed me to open my heart to new friendships, and embrace people I felt I had nothing in common with (and could never work with). It made me a believer in second chances, for myself and for others."
Coming back to the present, I find myself living more by these values every day, and I also hold myself accountable for my own well-being. People who know me are aware that I make plans and have a list for everything. I hope that many of them are also aware that this has to do with a lot of uncertainty that I have faced in my life. Having a schedule keeps me rooted, makes me feel safe. This does not mean that I have a plan for everything, and both at work and in personal life, I go with the flow and react to changes with enthusiasm.
Although I make plans, I have also been open to changing those plans to fit in someone else's plan. Sometimes this is good, but sometimes, it upsets me. It is good when my plan was to go shopping, and something better came along. It upsets me when someone decided to fit me in because they suddenly have an evening free or just realized that they had not remembered to add me to their plan.
That brings me to the final part in the blog - adding the goal. I will continue to be me, make plans and have a list (staying authentic). Instead of being upset at others for being inconsiderate, I will change my reaction and be responsible for not their's, but my actions (being accountable to myself). I will advocate for myself like I do for others, and not be afraid to put myself first, especially with those who are not thinking of my best interest (advocate for myself). This will not change what I do to advocate for the causes I believe in.
In conclusion, it comes down to - say yes when I can (and want to), say no when I have a plan and don't want to change it, and feel good about doing both.
