I missed writing a birthday post these last few weeks as I could not focus on a birthday when surrounded by grief. When I finally started writing one, all I thought about was the person whose news of passing away I had received last. There were more than a few over the last few weeks, and I finally decided to write this post, because going through the emotions of grieving, I also remembered many happy things. After all, that is what matters the most when you think about the life someone lived and what you shared with them.
In college, I had many friends and like most people, I had those few special and close friends who make every day beautiful (at least now that I am past being annoyed with them for some reason or another). A great benefit that came with these friends was getting to know their families, and I grew to love and admire their parents having spent so much time with them over the years. Although I haven't been back in many years, visiting them is always on my "most important things to do" list.
My friend from Chembur
We lived in different places, but changed buses in the morning so we could take the same bus to college on most days. We always took the same bus to the transfer point in Sion after college. We took turns sitting by the window. And during the holidays, we got together at the transfer point in Sion to go to the movies. And some days, we had sleepovers. She lived all on the outskirts of the city from where you could actually see green fields, a rarity anywhere in the city, and of course, it does not exist today. Her building had a trash chute, and I could not help checking it out several times as I had never seen one before! And of course, like most of our mothers, her Mummy was an amazing cook. The great thing about having a diverse group of friends is that you get to try so many cuisines. I guess that without realizing it, I was a big foodie even back then, and was always ready to try something new. When she messaged me about a month ago, and told me about her mother's death, my first memory was that of aunty's curd rice recipe. I told my friend that I still make curd rice just like aunty did, and I think of her every time I eat it. Of course, it never tastes that good, but it brings back so many memories. Where other friends requested the more fancy Punjabi dishes when aunty prepared a meal for us, I always asked her to make a small portion of curd rice just for me. I made curd rice that afternoon as a celebration of the memories I have of her.
My friend from Worli
Talking about food and the diversity of cuisines, can you imagine eating food cooked ony with ingredients that are seasonal, not because it is the current trend, but a way of life? In a fast paced world, where buying the easily available ingredients and making a really quick meal is a priority, my friend's parents, both of whom worked full time, always managed to make this work. Her father was easily manipulated into getting her what she wanted, including a puppy as a birthday gift one year. Of course, she being the responsible person that she always is, took care of the puppy, and followed all the agreed upon rules. He also made himself scarce when we stayed up all night watching videos - the VCR kind, of course (remember VHS, NTSC, PAL/SECAM?). He was always confident that she would make the right decisions, even early in life. And of course, he gave us a ride late in the night after many college events, especially during Navratri. When talking about him with my friend a couple of hours after he passed away, I could see his smiling face, and remembered how tall he was. Yes, all of us admired how tall he was, and even on our busy college campus (he was a professor in the medical school), I always saw him with that amazing smile.
And many others......
After returning from a glorious vacation in Kauai, with some of the closest people in my life, I was looking forward to a week that would be busy but full of wonderful discussions about my trip. Unfortunately, I got the news of the death of my coworker's mom a day later. I had never met her mother, but I knew of her as a sassy, full of life person who brought a lot of joy to the life of her children and grandchildren. Thinking about her brought back many many happy memories of my Mummy and Nani, and I also remembered the pain of the days after their passing away. Every day, I felt this grief when I did not see my coworker at work. Two weeks later, I received the news of the sudden passing away of someone on a team I supported at work. It made no sense as she was at work 2 days earlier. There were others who I did not know very well but were close to some of my friends. But it was the news of my friend's father that finally made me break down.
Now I am setting those emotions free. Rest in peace, all the lovely souls who have passed on these last few weeks. I will always cherish the happy memories.
In college, I had many friends and like most people, I had those few special and close friends who make every day beautiful (at least now that I am past being annoyed with them for some reason or another). A great benefit that came with these friends was getting to know their families, and I grew to love and admire their parents having spent so much time with them over the years. Although I haven't been back in many years, visiting them is always on my "most important things to do" list.
My friend from Chembur
We lived in different places, but changed buses in the morning so we could take the same bus to college on most days. We always took the same bus to the transfer point in Sion after college. We took turns sitting by the window. And during the holidays, we got together at the transfer point in Sion to go to the movies. And some days, we had sleepovers. She lived all on the outskirts of the city from where you could actually see green fields, a rarity anywhere in the city, and of course, it does not exist today. Her building had a trash chute, and I could not help checking it out several times as I had never seen one before! And of course, like most of our mothers, her Mummy was an amazing cook. The great thing about having a diverse group of friends is that you get to try so many cuisines. I guess that without realizing it, I was a big foodie even back then, and was always ready to try something new. When she messaged me about a month ago, and told me about her mother's death, my first memory was that of aunty's curd rice recipe. I told my friend that I still make curd rice just like aunty did, and I think of her every time I eat it. Of course, it never tastes that good, but it brings back so many memories. Where other friends requested the more fancy Punjabi dishes when aunty prepared a meal for us, I always asked her to make a small portion of curd rice just for me. I made curd rice that afternoon as a celebration of the memories I have of her.
My friend from Worli
Talking about food and the diversity of cuisines, can you imagine eating food cooked ony with ingredients that are seasonal, not because it is the current trend, but a way of life? In a fast paced world, where buying the easily available ingredients and making a really quick meal is a priority, my friend's parents, both of whom worked full time, always managed to make this work. Her father was easily manipulated into getting her what she wanted, including a puppy as a birthday gift one year. Of course, she being the responsible person that she always is, took care of the puppy, and followed all the agreed upon rules. He also made himself scarce when we stayed up all night watching videos - the VCR kind, of course (remember VHS, NTSC, PAL/SECAM?). He was always confident that she would make the right decisions, even early in life. And of course, he gave us a ride late in the night after many college events, especially during Navratri. When talking about him with my friend a couple of hours after he passed away, I could see his smiling face, and remembered how tall he was. Yes, all of us admired how tall he was, and even on our busy college campus (he was a professor in the medical school), I always saw him with that amazing smile.
And many others......
After returning from a glorious vacation in Kauai, with some of the closest people in my life, I was looking forward to a week that would be busy but full of wonderful discussions about my trip. Unfortunately, I got the news of the death of my coworker's mom a day later. I had never met her mother, but I knew of her as a sassy, full of life person who brought a lot of joy to the life of her children and grandchildren. Thinking about her brought back many many happy memories of my Mummy and Nani, and I also remembered the pain of the days after their passing away. Every day, I felt this grief when I did not see my coworker at work. Two weeks later, I received the news of the sudden passing away of someone on a team I supported at work. It made no sense as she was at work 2 days earlier. There were others who I did not know very well but were close to some of my friends. But it was the news of my friend's father that finally made me break down.
Now I am setting those emotions free. Rest in peace, all the lovely souls who have passed on these last few weeks. I will always cherish the happy memories.
