Snowstorms, hailstorms, and friendships that weather storms

Snowstorm: a heavy fall of snow, especially with a high wind

Snow: atmospheric water vapor frozen into ice crystals and falling in light white flakes or lying on the ground as a white layer

Hailstorm: a storm of heavy hail

Hail: pellets of frozen rain that fall in showers from cumulonimbus clouds

Friendships: the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends

Weather the storm: survives difficulties

Ha! I am finally getting to this blog post with snowstorms and hailstorms in the title when we have a heat wave, and it is a balmy 89 degrees outside! It's fitting, however, that I am writing about my first year in the U.S. and remembering that it was approximately 89 degrees in Bombay when I left, and close to 25 degrees in Chicago when I landed at the airport. I cleared immigration and customs and stepped out of the protected arrivals area to look for the person picking me up, and it was so cold, I felt the surfactant in my lungs freeze as I took a breath in. After a comedy of errors worthy of it's own post, I finally found Peggy (who had been standing at an exit with a post-it with Fayeza in ball point pen), and we headed to my first residence at Joyce Stockler's house in Elmwood Park, where I was greeted by Heidi, the dog, and 3 very unhappy cats. Saving grace, my soon-to-be first roommate, Aparna.

Aparna set me up with her in the little attic bedroom with 2 twin beds. When I woke up the next morning, I experienced my first shock! Snow, but not the pretty kind, bare trees, and not a single sound outside. I was used to waking up to the sounds of chirping birds and crowing roosters, and the quiet stillness was both fascinating and depressing. But Aparna took me shopping, and we took the Harlem bus to the closest K-Mart. Since it was below freezing, Aparna loaned me a winter jacket that was heavier than me, and went all the way to my toes. Because we were adventurous, we decided to walk back home on Harlem Ave, and it was only much later that we realized how stupid that was. Just like it was only a few months ago when I was making a list when writing this draft that I realized how many firsts I had with Aparna.

First roommate
First shopping partner
First dinner partner at Red Lobster
First dinner partner on Devon Street (I think it was a restaurant called Gandhi, and Joyce's dad took us there)
First out-of-town trip (to Lincoln, IL to visit Poonam in her new apartment)
First movie in the US (The Air Up There)
First really long drive in a blizzard (280 miles in 13 hours)

We have so many firsts, some of them only mine but she was an important part of it. We went to an Amish town in IL together, and enjoyed it just as much as The Signature Lounge at the 96th (maybe even more, ha ha). There was a moment of weakness when we considered going fishing when hanging out by a lake in the Midwest - could have been our first, and my last. We had the same car, and we both had a love-hate relationship with it. She used her's a lot longer than I used mine, and she drove it to California.

I am sure there are many I have left out that I will remember during a conversation. Laughing, of course, has always been a big part of it, and I was treated to a visit to Laffing Sal with her and Umesh when Sal resided at the Mechanical Museum next to the Cliff House.

I still have the cardigan we bought at K-Mart on my first shopping trip (I did give away all the other stuff but had to keep at least one thing I bought that day). And I only recently gave away my first rolling carry-on, a birthday gift from Aparna, Poonam and Lena way back when! The mug I cherished (another birthday gift) for more than 20 years finally chipped but the little stuffed tiger that came with it is safe.

Ha! I am rambling on and forgot there is a hailstorm to be remembered. When visiting Poonam on what seemed to be a nice day, just as I took the exit ramp from I-5, it turned pitch dark, and I could only hear the sound of the heavy hail falling on the car roof. I had never experienced hail before and I was even more terrified as there was a semi-trailer taking the exit right behind me. It was only when the the hailstorm stopped that I realized we were surrounded by golf-ball size hail, and like all disciplined traffic in the Midwest, all vehicles had come to a slow and complete stop until the storm passed.

Aparna, Poonam and I didn't have an easy start when we first arrived, and it didn't get easier in the first couple of years. We were strong, persistent, gritty women but most importantly, we had each other as well as some very important friends who always kept our spirits up. I have a more vivid memory of watching Lion King with them in Danville, IL than other more spectacular movies since. Gosh, we went to the hot air balloon festival the first summer, and were excited because we traveled there in a standing-room only bus! We managed to get lost in Indianapolis, which was far smaller and less populated than it is today. This was after I locked my keys in the rental car to which we didn't have a spare key!

I can't figure out how to end this blog, so I will do it very simply. To friendships that last through the toughest times and survive forever - I love you!

Saved by the leap year, Downton Abbey, and a tearful gratitude

After being on a roll in January, I barely made it this month. That is my first gratitude - the extra day in February since it is a Leap Year.

In my last blog, I didn't make it to Christmas Day, which was very special in many ways, and it will be it's own blog one day soon. Since this is an extra day, I am going to write about an extra gratitude - extra because it made something else more special, more valued, and more sentimental. 

Downton Abbey. It may sound like a fickle thing to be grateful for. I love good stories, and I love good screenplays. And I particularly love the British shows as they are just as thoughtful about the words and not just the drama. Beginning to feel disappointed with the last season, where I suspected the writers were trying to tie up the loose ends for a perfect ending, I was pleasantly surprised with Episode 8. It's funny I say pleasantly, as what I liked most about the episode was the part that made me cry. If you don't watch the show, it won't mean anything to you. If you watch the show, it is when Edith tells Mary, "Because we are sisters. And one day, only we will remember Sybil". 

That reaction from Edith was totally unexpected. I had already begun to like her character more and more with her taking charge of the newspaper, her new attitude to life, and her maturity in making the most of a very sad situation. With that sentence, Edith won my heart, and of course, the tears flowed freely. I can't remember the last time I cried watching a TV show, but this one stuck with me. I waited all week to find someone to talk to about it. Someone who would understand what it feels like to lose someone very young, and how that can create, if you let it, a bond that can never be broken.

I am grateful that Episode 8 aired the week before my Saturday hike with my friend Teresa. I am grateful for Teresa, who reappeared after weeks of exile to accompany me on a hike on this Saturday. We talked about her nieces, her parents, and her sister. Her sister, who left this life too early. And we talked about what Edith said, how it struck a chord, and it made us cry. It was a hike filled with tears and hugs, and the joy of having someone to talk to. 

I am grateful that I am surrounded by people who love what I love (or at least understand why), who get me, and can cry with me because they understand where the emotion comes from. 

You have an extra day this year to give extra hugs to those you love. Oh, and it's okay to hug those who you don't really love, if you can make their day special. 

Friendship at first sight and more December #gratitudes

I am savoring my cup of aromatic and delicious Gyokuro tea as I continue with the second half of my December gratitude blog. It is a cherished gift from a friend who bought it in Kyoto, and it has now become my Sunday afternoon routine to drink one of the teas from the gift box. I am grateful for Susan, with whom I have spent more time than anyone else in the last year. She takes care of me not just by bringing me unique teas, but giving me strength when I need it the most. 

The night after Nate's birthday, it was time to celebrate Gosia's. This woman is magical, at least to me. The first time I met her, I knew in my heart that she was someone I wanted to have in my life. Yes, it was "friendship at first sight". She makes me feel loved, and in a strange sort of way, she makes me feel safe. I am grateful that I had the honor of celebrating her milestone birthday.

The morning started with a hike. Yes, it was quite easy to wake up early to head out to Wunderlich, after a few tequila shots the night before and getting home at 2am. It had rained heavily the previous day, and had started to drizzle when I left. Geralyn and I were not going to be deterred from the last hike of the year by a little rain. The beauty that awaited us, in an already beautiful place, was overwhelming. We had joked about how we would burst into song and dance when The Meadows turned green, a sight many of of my new hiking companions have never witnessed because of the drought. Well, The Meadows was green, and the hills were alive! Unbelievably, it was I who asked Geralyn to sing "the hills are alive with the sound of music" with me. We pulled up the lyrics, found the music, and sang along with Julie Andrews while recording The Meadows. I am grateful that The Meadows exist a short enough distance from where I live so I can make it there on so many weekends. I am grateful that we have rain. I am grateful for the melodies the beautiful surroundings inspire. 

The evening started perfectly. I had already decided to debut the gorgeous dress Poonam bought me. Is there a better way to debut a birthday gift from a dear friend other than at the birthday of another dear friend? The necklace from Palvika complimented the dress perfectly, and “I was ready, set, go” for drinks with the Vohra crew before leaving for the party. I am grateful for Poonam, for many reasons, but in this case, gifting me many party dresses over the years, some that have made me famous (or infamous), and nursing me back to a stable standing state after one of those parties resulted in my hitting and staying on the floor for a while.

And that is a perfect lead in to the next gratitude. I planned to go to the Macha Holiday Party, the best one every year, after Gosia’s birthday celebration. I was, however, delayed because I was asked to pick up food on the way home for the 4 musketeers who were already at the party. It was midnight when I got to the party, and the 4 musketeers, whose names you can guess, had left the party. I am grateful that my friend Kerri let me in, although almost all the other guests had left, and played one more song to dance with me to before I delivered the food. I am grateful for Kerri, the most organized person I know, who willingly gave into a little chaos by my showing up late.

So many gratitudes for one weekend, I have barely made it to the week of Christmas. More motivation to continue writing as the gratitudes, many of them inspired by a lot of funny moments, will continue. 

A December to remember - so much to be grateful for

January 2015 promises to be a very busy month at work. At a busy time, it is very important to stay focused and be grateful for all the little things that enrich our lives. I will dedicate the first blog of 2016 with a few of my gratitudes from December. 

I kicked off the first weekend in December by a visit to the salon to color my hair (yes, one of the secrets to my youthful looks), and spending the rest of the day with my cousin, more like my daughter. I wrote about her in my January birthday blog last year - Three birthdays and a joyful blog. I love having her around, and wish I saw more of her. And of course, the weekend would not be complete without hiking with a couple of my favorite people. I am grateful that I have the always amazing Jassi and my hiking buddy, Fabiana in my life. 

The next one is a gratitude I posted on Facebook - "Gratitude for today - all my American friends who shared this post and condemned Trump, going as far as asking people who agreed with Trump to unfriend themselves. They make me proud." This gratitude came out of an unpleasant and negative emotion, and I had to give a shout out to those who had the courage to stand up for Muslims in the United States. I will add that almost all of these posts were from friends on Facebook who are neither Muslims nor immigrants. I am grateful that despite the negativity in the mainstream media and on social media, I have friends who are open-minded, can think for themselves, and have the courage of their convictions. 

Needless to say, all the drama and negativity generated by the anti-Muslim rhetoric was washed away on the weekend with a beautiful hike when Geralyn and I bravely ventured out to Edgewood County Park, unafraid of the mountain lion signs posted at the beginning of the trail. The #newnormal of doing new things continued. I braved a heavy thunderstorm to drive to a nursing home in Daly City to support Geralyn's choir. My intention was to blend into the crowd, smile at everyone, and cheer the choir. Much to my disbelief, and likely the agony of the listeners, I stood next to Geralyn, and sang every carol. Escorting Aleya around to give out gift bags to the residents, and seeing the joy in their faces, was worth every second of anxiety over the singing. I am grateful to have people like Geralyn in my life, who inspire me to be a better person. I am also grateful that I now have a Santa hat. 

On December 15th, my Facebook memories had a picture that made me smile for hours. It was of a cardboard laptop built by the students in the first Junior Achievement class I had the privilege of teaching. I still have all the individual thank you notes, and chuckle over one note that said, "Fayeza, thanks for wasting your time with us". It was supposed to say, "spending your time with us". I am grateful that I had the privilege of volunteering at an elementary school with kids who I learned from more than I taught them. Because of them, I conquered my fear of standing in a room with 30 curious kids with questions that were often tough. I miss that experience, and am very happy that I got the opportunity when I worked at Oracle. Special thanks to Jay Patel who is an advocate for the program, and led it for many years when he was at Oracle. 

And then, just before the weekend, I got to see my joon. Almost a year later, which is kind of sad, but it felt like no time had passed since we last saw each other. It was also an evening out with Jeni and Mark, and tequila was involved. We celebrated Nate's birthday which was falsely advertised in the invitation. We were invited to the San Francisco Armory, but received a clarification stating that it was actually a bar across the street called the Armory. For many of us, it was a lost opportunity to visit the San Francisco Armory under the pretense of celebrating Nate's birthday, but Nate's party was pretty darn good, and we all forgave him. He is really easy to forgive, that is if you actually ever get mad at him. I am grateful for my joon, Nasim. I am grateful for my friends Jeni and Mark, who make me feel alive simply via a chat message. I am grateful that I know Nate, an incredible human being who makes every person feel special and unique, and in his company, you can only see the joys in life. I am grateful that in my 10 months at Jobvite, I connected with incredible people who I feel I have been friends with all my life. 

Wow, I am only halfway there, and the next gratitude is so huge that it deserves it's own blog post. Not to mention the many gratitudes that I have yet to write about for December alone. I will end this blog by saying that I am grateful that I have so much to be grateful for. 

Another year, another blog, that trip to Vegas, and reaching out for a new normal

I did a lot of reflecting when writing my last birthday blog - Call me crazy. A month and a half later, do I have more to add? More hikes and more selfies for sure, but there is always something more, sometime with the same co-conspirators, and sometimes new ones. 

For someone who swore never to wear a tutu in public, and never owned one, I did it again! In fact, my co-conspirator Fabiana and I were the only ones wearing a tutu on the Thanksgiving Gobble Wobble race, and had the pleasure of being stopped frequently to have our picture taken. Because running at 10K in 40 degree F weather was not enough, I went hiking with Steph in 36 degree weather on Friday morning. Even my car warned me that it was only 36 outside! But that was not going to stop me from the Saturday hike to Skyline, the 4th this year, with my regular bunch of crazy hiking friends, and even getting a movie companion for the evening. All that activity helped burn off any extra helpings at our Thanksgiving dinner. 

But now, let's talk about what happened in Vegas. Yes, what happened in Vegas will not stay in Vegas for this crazy bunch of friends, as we are only going to build on the success of that great trip. I planned it perfectly - with the right group of people, of course. Some older, some younger, but all fun-loving friends who went on a little birthday celebration with me. Steph and Lovey really put the pedal to the metal by getting on the flight and room reservations, months in advance. Mark, our aspiring Olympic weigh-lifter in training went with us as our bodyguard. And Jeni, our nightclub VIP guest list connection was the star of the weekend. 

Some of the highlights of the trip included my first trip to a Vegas nightclub, tipsy bodyguard, lots of tequila, lots of dancing, lots of coffee to stay awake for the lots of dancing and tequila, MJ One, another visit to a nightclub with a sober bodyguard, more tequila,more dancing, and pizza at 2am. 

Lovey got over her frustration with her Fitbit not recording her dance steps by walking up to the very last minute before boarding the plane back home. She also discovered an enjoyable way of gambling, and winning, by hanging out with me at the roulette table. She did lose most of her winnings by sneaking out of the nightclub to go gambling by herself. 

To summarize as they do in the Amazing Race - 
20 miles walked
10,000 dance steps (accurately recorded by Jeni's Fitbit)
8 hours of sleep over 3 nights/days
"x" number of shots (no one counted)
"x 3" coffee consumed
4 meals at celebrity chef restaurants

Let's just say the trip in Mark's famous tipsy sentence was "one, two, three, four, boom"! 

To everyone who celebrated my bonus year with me, thank you! My life is what it is because I have you in it.

In conclusion, the single biggest gift this year was my brother's trip. It was only 3 days long, but spending even that with him after 3 years reminded me of how much I miss him and his family, and wish they were closer. 

Wishing everyone a joyous, healthy, prosperous and active 2016! Reach for the stars, and think of every new challenge as the new normal. 

Call me crazy..... A blog for my birthday

It's raining! It's cold! And it's 6 am on a Sunday morning! The first thought after texting, "yes, we are" to Sheena's question, "the sky is falling, are we still on?" was to stay under the covers for 15 more minutes. But I was wide awake, and instead of wanting to go back to sleep or curling up with a book, I wanted to get into my warm rain-proof clothes and hit the road! 

Yes, call me crazy, but Geralyn and Sheena have made waking up early on Sunday mornings somewhat of an adventure to look forward to. 

From the first time that Geralyn showed up to hike with me, really nervous about being able to keep up and finish what I claimed was an easy 3 mile loop, to the day she asked when we would hike the 13 mile loop I had promised, it has been months of very joyful hikes every weekend. And then Sheena came along for a 13 mile hike, breaking all kinds of records on her first day using her Fitbit. The jewel in the crown - Geralyn's idea to hike at Land's End followed by brunch at Louis' for Sheena's birthday. Aloma joining us was a big bonus! 

We walked, we laughed, we took a lot of pictures. And we started a new tradition - birthday celebrations at Land's End! 

Call me crazy, because I started my birthday morning by waking up at 4:45 am, driving my cousin to the airport, and then heading out for my practice 10K to prepare for the Thanksgiving Gobble Wobble. I answered birthday calls, texts and Facebook messages while on my walk/run. And I spent some time thinking back on the year since I wrote my first blog for my birthday. 

This year, I did a few things that most people who know me would consider either crazy or just not me! I made choices that would normally scare me, I made decisions that were unlike me. I learned that, in life, you often feel that you are rationalizing decisions to reconcile them with your core values, but when you are rooted in those values, you are simply finding ways to make sure that your decisions don't go against them. This allowed me to open my heart to new friendships, and embrace people I felt I had nothing in common with (and could never work with). It made me a believer in second chances, for myself and for others. 

Among other things, I spent a whole day in Disneyland wearing a tutu, and even danced with the band. And I wore pink Minnie Mouse ears with a red tutu - shockingly unfashionable! I climbed on a fallen tree, and tried to balance on it. I crawled up on a tree trunk, and pretended to sleep (while getting sticky sap all over my clothes). 

Call me crazy, but I believe that being in the company of nature with someone else who believes in you is the most therapeutic thing you can do for yourself. 

I am going to end this birthday blog with a quote from Sheena that is going to be my mantra. 

"Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no selfie hard enough" 

The hiking chronicles: stories of friendships, love and advocacy - the early days

It wouldn't be an exaggeration if I said I have thousands of photos, to be precise, iPhone photos, of my hikes. Over the last few years, I have hiked uncountable miles, mostly in Woodside.

I cannot remember precisely when I got interested in hiking. I always loved walking, but going into the woods on trails was something that was new to me. I remember the first time I struggled up the Alambique trail in Wunderlich Park. It took several stops before I made it past the first half mile of that steep incline. The friend I was hiking with is an amazing storyteller, and her funny stories made the huffing and puffing worse as laughing itself was quite difficult. I somehow made it that day, but the best part of the day was really the delicious burger we treated ourselves to after the hike. This is before Facebook and iPhone, and there was no bragging since I was not really sure it was worth bragging that I hiked a little over 3 miles in 4 hours.

After listening to me talk with such wonder about the beauty of hiking, my close friend Aloma said she knew of the perfect place to try next. It was the weekend of the 4th of July in 2004. We headed to Purisima Creek in Half Moon Bay. We picked the longest trails, because, yeah, we knew we could do it. We went up to Skyline and back. We saw the Pacific Ocean and Mount Tamalpais from an amazing location. We walked, we talked, and ate all our snacks. It was just a little over seven and a half miles. We crawled back to our car. We still felt great, until it was time to get out of the car. And we could barely move! I think we lay flat for hours for the fatigue and soreness to leave us. I still remember that beautiful day, and I repeated the hike with a group of people a couple of years later. That second time, it was on a Sunday morning after a sleepover at my house the night before. A sleepover where we had to force ourselves to go to bed at midnight since we had to be up early to hike.

Aloma and I wizened up a little, and picked shorter hikes after that adventure. The real adventure started a few weeks later after a friend generously gave me his book on the best hiking trails in California. Little did I know that reading the words and navigating a trail are very different things. Maps only confused me more, and it didn't help that my orientation did not always match that of the map. We hiked every trail in Pacifica and Woodside, carrying the big book with us to guide us. We often got stuck on very narrow trails at the edge of a precipice. Talk about being paralyzed with fear!! More than once, we had to crawl on our butts to make it to a safer path.

One of my favorite memories is what I call "the cobwebs incident". As Aloma and I were slowly making  our way down on the Bear Gulch trail in Wunderlich reading the fat hiking book. Aloma was reading out loud, and said something about the beauty of the Redwoods clearing the cobwebs in our heads. Just as she was done reading that, we found ourselves suddenly surrounded by the most amazing Redwood trees, and cobwebs! The cobwebs were everywhere! Small and big, and I as a spider-hater, I hate to admit that they were beautiful! We burst out laughing as we both had the exact same thought. The cobwebs in our head would soon join the ones left there by previous hikers :). 

For Aloma and I, hiking was never about the exercise or the great outdoors. It was a chance to talk, bond, eat, and spend time together uninterrupted by anything else. We laughed, we vented, we strengthened an already strong friendship. And somewhere along the way I fell in love with the trails, the Redwoods, the fresh air, and the exhilarating feeling of accomplishment every time I conquered a difficult uphill trail. 

I dedicate this post to my bestie who got me into something I love so much now, for listening to me for hours with no sign of escape, and for inspiring me to perfect my spicy egg toast that I made for our hikes. 

Pictures below are courtesy of another very patient friend who humored me by being the photographer.

Three birthdays and a joyful blog

Twenty years ago, I met a little girl, standing at the entrance with her brother, holding a drawing book with blank pages. It was a cold, snowy winter day in Chicago, and all I could think of was getting inside and warming up. As soon as I took off my coat and shoes, I was handed the books along with crayons and pencils, and asked to paint. I am not sure what my aunt told these kids, but they pretty much stayed by my side until I had painted a few flower pots, and the only reason I finally got to stop is when one of the kids, I don't remember which one, asked me if I knew how to paint anything besides flower pots. Phew, saved by the boring flower pots!

One of them celebrated a birthday this month! An amazing young woman, who remembers me for the popcorn and soda at the movies, and not the (thank goodness) flower pots I painted when we first met. She tires me with her constant talking (sounds just like me at her age), annoys me with her defense of Tiger Woods' multiple affairs, baffles me with her checklists, exhilarates me with her willingness to take selfies, but mostly, inspires me with just who she is - a talented, committed, beautiful, young woman who is doing great things, and will always be an inspiration to many!

Three people I love celebrated a birthday this weekend. Unlike my cousin above, I met this friend on a somewhat warm, extremely late evening (if you call almost 11pm an evening) in Bombay, at her wedding. I was trying to get to the wedding reception of my friend, and after several expert directions from locals which made us go around in circles for 2 hours, I finally made it after the dinner had been cleared, the wedding cake was gone, and the bouquet was about to be tossed. I could not wait for her to move to Chicago so I could clear up my sterling reputation of always being on time. Over the years, she has become one of my closest friends, someone in whose presence I can completely be myself, someone who makes me laugh often at her own expense, someone who is always there for me, and someone who probably has never had to take selfies with anyone besides me. The jokes we have shared are not repeatable even anonymously, as she will surely kill me.

Last, but not the least, a charming and joyous human being who I have known less than a year, who makes every day, or at least weekdays, something to look forward to. Always calm, almost always smiling (yes, there is the occasional frown), always dapper, always willing to help, and always available for a hug, he makes open office plans kind of awesome for those who sit across from him.

I am very blessed that I get to celebrate amazing human beings like these everyday, even when it's not their birthday.

Celebrating memories and making new ones - a blog for my birthday

I had a milestone birthday this month. At 46, I have outlived my mother, who we lost very early in life. With every passing birthday, I wonder what it would be to have her around today, and how life would be different with her in it. Although a mother is irreplaceable in pretty much every way, the people in my life have made it easier for me to navigate life with their love, kindness, generosity, and of course, their patience.

On this birthday, I am grateful for the people who have always held my hand, and nudged me along to make it possible for me to be where I am today.

I am grateful that I started my birthday month by visiting friends who I have known for more than 25 years. It helped that they presented me with birthday gifts - beautiful, practical, and small enough to fit in my bag. The origami flower didn't keep it's shape, but I am still keeping it.

I am grateful that I spent more time with my new friends from around the world before they made their journey back home.

I am grateful that I hugged the amazing woman who risked a lot to come here, and who does not know how she will get back to her home country. 

I am grateful that every year, thanks to the advances in technology, I am able to cherish birthday messages from family and friends around the world. Of course, I am grateful for my Smartphone that allowed me to multi-task between calls, text messages, Facebook, and Whatsapp so I didn't miss any birthday greetings.

Happy birthday to me!

 

How Jurassic Park left me bruised....

My first year in the country, before I started working, I spent some time with friends who lived in Michigan. I don't know if this was coincidence or by design, but each of my fabulous friends took me out, and showed me around every day. It might have something to do with my efforts to help out at home by loading the dishwasher and turning it on after pouring in regular dish washing soap.

One of the best parts of this "showing around" was going to the movies (yeah, there wasn't much to do in MI 20 years ago). And the first one in the series was Jurassic Park! I could not control my excitement. This was an incredible treat, and of course, it came with popcorn during the movie and dinner after. What I did not know was that my friend, who had already seen the movie a couple of times, was still not completely over the "scary" parts of the movie. I did not see any danger in letting her hold on to me during the movie. Well, I realized soon that a "scary" scene was coming up shortly by the intensity of the pressure on my arm. I screamed before the scene as each new bruise appeared! Thankfully, it was a short movie, and I did enjoy the dinner after. Fortunately, we went to Cool Runnings the following day, a less dangerous movie.

Twenty years later, Jurassic Park and Cool Runnings continue to be amongst my favorite movies, and not just because they are great movies, but because of the memories. And my friend and I remained movie companions for years, watching many movies on opening night. She also happily delegated to me the role of movie companion to watch 'Star Trek' like movies with her husband.

So many memories, of which the funniest has to be the year we bought each other identical Valentine Day cards. She also organized a surprise 30th party for me (sigh, I hate surprise parties) to which she invited my closest friends, some of whom she had never met, and had to get very creative to get their contact information from me. But the most touching memory is the day of my very big graduation party at her house, when we both held hands and cried as we remembered the family members who were missing.

We now live on opposite coasts, but I think of her every time I go to the movies. I think of her when I miss my parents. I think of her when I wear a black belt and brown shoes (a story for a different day).

I love you, my dear friend, and I look forward to seeing you again very very soon!

Happy Birthday! And remember, no matter how old you get, I will always be older than you.

A Devi and a Rani

The literal translation of Devi is Goddess, and Rani is Queen. The titles were not earned, but were assigned during a mindless conversation during an April blizzard. The Devi cleared the roads in and around Chicago of the snow the blizzard left behind for the Rani who demanded it. And all this to travel to a class! That was almost twenty years ago, but the titles stuck.  

My friend, the Rani, is far from the demanding kind. She is everything we look for in a good human being. A daughter, who takes care of her parents; a sister, who always looks out for her siblings; a mother, who has sacrificed a great deal for her children; and a friend, who has held mine and many others’ hand when they needed it the most. 

Our memories together are countless, and include many tears – from laughing, from being mad at each other, and sometimes, tears of grief. Rani once convinced me and another terrified friend to switch theaters when the movie we bought tickets for turned out to be awful. That she fell flat on her face when trying to leave the theater was a sign to us that we had sinned badly. Once Devi, being the reasonable person that she is, asked Rani to sleep on the sofa so she could share her twin bed with another friend, Rani decided to dig herself in and not move. The result was 3 grown women sleeping in a twin bed, holding on tight to anything they could so as not to be tossed out when caught off guard. There were three very sore backs and very bad moods the following morning. 

As I write this post, I am overwhelmed and will probably have to write a book to cover everything I want to write. My parting note is something that brought tears to my eyes on the first day of 2014 – “Happy New Year, Devi. I am really sad about 2013 – it is the only year since I met you that I did not see you".

Happy Birthday, my darling! We may have missed 2013, but we will make up for it soon. And the miles between us will never change our memories and our love for each other.

It takes two to make a friendship work

It’s time to write my first serious blog. I promise it will be funny because it is about someone who is funny, loving and so much more. As she celebrates her birthday, I want to acknowledge that she is a gift to so many people who are lucky to have her in her life. She makes me laugh, and she annoys the heck out of me sometimes, but I love her for these reasons and many more.

I met her at a class on Conflict Management in which there was a lot of CONFLICT!! Fall of 2009, to be exact. Since the focus was on just getting through the Semester, I did not really develop a strong relationship with her at that time. I did get a business card, and at a time when I barely used LinkedIn, I even added her as a contact.

Months later, sometime in the Summer of 2010, I emailed her, and was delighted to get a prompt response. Soon, we had assembled a hiking group. Our first hike resulted in her getting blisters on one foot on the way up, and on the other foot on the way down. Not to be discouraged by a small thing like blisters on both feet, she returned the following week with new shoes, plenty of band-aids and an amazing attitude! Our group of hikers disbanded over the next few months, and it was just a couple of us who showed up regularly. We developed a strong friendship while pushing each other to hike 5 plus miles every weekend.

Since then –

• We have completed two Bay 2 Breakers, one together, and one where I lost her mid-way and ran off to the end on my own (something about someone being distracted by people in a certain attire, or lack thereof, comes to mind)
• We have enjoyed family dinners at her parents’, her sister’s and my house.
• We have helped each other clean closets.
• We have embarked on several missions small and big which need a post of their own.
• We have reviewed many homes from sidewalks and provided our suggestions for improvements to no one in particular, and even gave some thought to knocking on doors to let the owners know.
• She is my accountability partner for 2014 goals, and is very proud that one has been accomplished as I write this post on MY blog.
• And so much more……..

Why do I hang out with her? Well, because –

• She put a towel on my face to keep me warm (my feet were cold, not my face).
• She made me take pictures of me wearing T-shirts she wanted to toss as proof that I am using them.
• She sends me texts with yummy food pictures when I am usually very hungry but can’t get away to get food.
• She sent me a selfie from the library holding a book I was nagging her to read, and finished reading it before I did.
• She was so excited about setting up a recurring alarm for our weekend hikes, she set them up for weekdays.
• She does not drink much but always brings enough wine to get others tipsy.
• She has asked that I keep a notebook and pen with me all times, including when I go to bed in case I dream something funny that I want to write down (I am trying to figure out how to write in my sleep).

Happy Birthday, my beautiful friend! I hope to celebrate many birthdays with you, yours and my own.