It's the journey and the destination, and the people who travel with you in life

Yogesh - making fun of me

Me - "I will cry"

Yogesh - continues to make fun of me

Geeta - "she is serious"

Me - tears start streaming down my face as I continue to laugh, talk, and provoke those watching and listening

That was the scene at the gate while we waited for me to board, back in the days when you could accompany passengers to the gate. It was my first trip to India after my dad's death. I was traveling for a very special reason, my brother's wedding. The tears came for so many reasons. Grief, joy, anxiety, anticipation, but mostly because things would never be the same. Geeta and Yogesh held my hands and sat with me until it was time to board. The flight was quite empty, and I got to pick a seat with an entire row to myself. I didn't really drink back then but I had a glass of wine and 2 little bottles of Bailey's Irish Coffee, I settled down to watch the movie on the big screen (no personalized screen on United back then). I wish I remembered the name of the movie as vividly as my reaction to it. I wept thorough the entire movie. The flight attendant stopped by a few times to make sure I was okay. And once the movie was over, I slept like a baby. I landed in Mumbai with only one emotion - joy! 

Last weekend, as I looked at the organized piles of things I needed to pack, I felt overwhelmed with emotion. I had been to India twice since that tearful flight, and my feeling the same way didn't make any sense. I didn't want to pack. No matter what I did, I started over many times as it didn't seem right. And just when I was about to throw in the towel and take a nap instead, Lovey called me. She asked me why I was feeling emotional, and while talking to her, the reasons came to me. 

When those of us who came to the U.S. twenty something years ago, any of us going to India was an event. We got together to pack the bags, made sure shopping lists were complete, wrapped things that could break, attached scotch tape to the covers of all liquids, found all the little spaces in the suitcase where more could be added, and then the inevitable weighing of the suitcases. We did this together, for each other. I remember Manoj spending an entire day packing my suitcase, mentally measuring and weighing everything that went in. He spent so much time on packing that Medha and I watched TV and went to eat as we could not take it any more! I remember Lena, Poonam and Aparna unveiling a rolling carry-on, my first one, as a birthday gift for an upcoming trip to India. Some things are best left out, but I remember many little and big things about the start of each trip. I found the whole experience ridiculous and stressful but enjoyed every moment of it. And while talking to Lovey, I realized that it was one of the things I was emotional about. The stars aligned completely when Aloma and Aleya showed up to help me pack. 

The tears at the airport were during the toughest year of my life. The loss of a parent, giving up the home I grew up in for hopes of a better future for my brother and I, and the uncertainty of life. I survived that year because of the kindest, toughest and most loving people I know. They held me when I was sad, they pushed me to fight when I was struggling, and they were my surrogate parents when I needed one. 

A lot has changed since that trip. My brother has an incredible family, a great present and future, and a home of his own. And while I truly believe in Pico Iyer's words, "home is not where you sleep at night, but where you stand in life", when I think of home, it's my home in Belmont with Jay. 

Living by my 3 A's and stretching towards new goals

Authenticity - being true to one's personality, spirit or character

Accountability - an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's own actions

Advocacy - the art or process of supporting a cause or proposal

Authenticity, accountability and advocacy are my 3 A's, they are my core values, and they influence many of my other values. They influence my decisions, my behavior, and most importantly, my relationships both personally and professionally. I try to live by these values every day, and when I falter, I know it and can feel it's impact. 

I am starting with accountability as it is influencing my writing this blog on the last day of March. I made a commitment to myself to blog at least once a month, and I almost missed out March this year, even though I had 31 days to get it done. I have a list of topics, and I could not get over my wanting that perfect blog for the person I am writing about, and as a result, no blog post. In my areas of improvement last year, I had the below two pictures - clearly I have some work to do, as I am waiting for perfection and most definitely over thinking. 

Of course, that's not all I value with accountability. I like people who are accountable for their actions, I like working in environments where there is accountability for responsibilities and actions, and I also make sure that I take responsibility for my own decisions and actions. Which brings me to the what is really my first value, authenticity. 

I often struggle with authenticity, not because it is difficult to be authentic, but there is so much pressure to be someone I am not. For some, I am too aggressive, and to others, I am too nice. Often, I am too loud, and sometimes people are offended by my honesty, whereas others think I need to be more open. To be empathetic and caring is being too nice. To push people to be accountable for their actions is being too aggressive. I get excited when I am passionate about something, and somehow some people's ears can't handle that, and to tone it down is to not show enough passion. 

On April 1st last year, a very dramatic event happened, which I won't talk about to protect the people who were affected. It brought out the best in me, at least that is how I think of it. I stepped up, I made difficult choices, and I stepped in to help while many others stood by. I was being my authentic self, caring for others before myself, making sure that I could help so the impact of the event was minimized. I was also influenced by my third core value, advocacy. This time, the cause did not involve finding a cure for cancer or eliminating childhood obesity, but the act of simply taking care of one human being. 

The weeks that followed tested every value, and challenged me emotionally and physically. Along with the encouragement and advice by Jay, it was sheer grit that got me through those weeks. Months later, I was asked how I successfully turned around this difficult situation where I was almost ready to leave the project, to one where my client and everyone I worked with wanted me on the project. I had a very clever answer, I think, but honestly, I didn't do anything different. 

I wrote this in my birthday blog a few months ago - "I learned that, in life, you often feel that you are rationalizing decisions to reconcile them with your core values, but when you are rooted in those values, you are simply finding ways to make sure that your decisions don't go against them. This allowed me to open my heart to new friendships, and embrace people I felt I had nothing in common with (and could never work with). It made me a believer in second chances, for myself and for others."

Coming back to the present, I find myself living more by these values every day, and I also hold myself accountable for my own well-being. People who know me are aware that I make plans and have a list for everything. I hope that many of them are also aware that this has to do with a lot of uncertainty that I have faced in my life. Having a schedule keeps me rooted, makes me feel safe. This does not mean that I have a plan for everything, and both at work and in personal life, I go with the flow and react to changes with enthusiasm. 

Although I make plans, I have also been open to changing those plans to fit in someone else's plan. Sometimes this is good, but sometimes, it upsets me. It is good when my plan was to go shopping, and something better came along. It upsets me when someone decided to fit me in because they suddenly have an evening free or just realized that they had not remembered to add me to their plan. 

That brings me to the final part in the blog - adding the goal. I will continue to be me, make plans and have a list (staying authentic). Instead of being upset at others for being inconsiderate, I will change my reaction and be responsible for not their's, but my actions (being accountable to myself). I will advocate for myself like I do for others, and not be afraid to put myself first, especially with those who are not thinking of my best interest (advocate for myself). This will not change what I do to advocate for the causes I believe in. 

In conclusion, it comes down to - say yes when I can (and want to), say no when I have a plan and don't want to change it, and feel good about doing both. 

Saved by the leap year, Downton Abbey, and a tearful gratitude

After being on a roll in January, I barely made it this month. That is my first gratitude - the extra day in February since it is a Leap Year.

In my last blog, I didn't make it to Christmas Day, which was very special in many ways, and it will be it's own blog one day soon. Since this is an extra day, I am going to write about an extra gratitude - extra because it made something else more special, more valued, and more sentimental. 

Downton Abbey. It may sound like a fickle thing to be grateful for. I love good stories, and I love good screenplays. And I particularly love the British shows as they are just as thoughtful about the words and not just the drama. Beginning to feel disappointed with the last season, where I suspected the writers were trying to tie up the loose ends for a perfect ending, I was pleasantly surprised with Episode 8. It's funny I say pleasantly, as what I liked most about the episode was the part that made me cry. If you don't watch the show, it won't mean anything to you. If you watch the show, it is when Edith tells Mary, "Because we are sisters. And one day, only we will remember Sybil". 

That reaction from Edith was totally unexpected. I had already begun to like her character more and more with her taking charge of the newspaper, her new attitude to life, and her maturity in making the most of a very sad situation. With that sentence, Edith won my heart, and of course, the tears flowed freely. I can't remember the last time I cried watching a TV show, but this one stuck with me. I waited all week to find someone to talk to about it. Someone who would understand what it feels like to lose someone very young, and how that can create, if you let it, a bond that can never be broken.

I am grateful that Episode 8 aired the week before my Saturday hike with my friend Teresa. I am grateful for Teresa, who reappeared after weeks of exile to accompany me on a hike on this Saturday. We talked about her nieces, her parents, and her sister. Her sister, who left this life too early. And we talked about what Edith said, how it struck a chord, and it made us cry. It was a hike filled with tears and hugs, and the joy of having someone to talk to. 

I am grateful that I am surrounded by people who love what I love (or at least understand why), who get me, and can cry with me because they understand where the emotion comes from. 

You have an extra day this year to give extra hugs to those you love. Oh, and it's okay to hug those who you don't really love, if you can make their day special. 

White Elephant and beyond - the happy secret to better work #gratitudes

If you read my gratitude blogs and think I have a perfect life, I don’t. I only blog positive things, and my positive perspective of events that were less pleasant. There are many reasons for this, and one of them is that writing about what I am grateful for keeps me grounded during stressful times. It reminds me about one of my core principals – “it’s the small things”. If you are waiting to win the Powerball to be grateful, you will miss so many little things in your journey through life.

In my first gratitude blog, Simple gratitudes, I wrote about two TED talks that inspired me to write my daily gratitudes, and I now have core values inspired by Achor and Pasricha’s talks. How these talks inspired me and how I practice what I learned is in that blog, and today, I want to continue with my December gratitudes.

The week of Christmas started with our team’s holiday dinner. A few days before the dinner, Kelly and I decided that it would be fun to have a White Elephant gift exchange, but to counteract the exhaustion of getting prank gifts, we decided that they can be funny, but also need to be usable. And below is my “recap” of how a program management team does a White Elephant gift exchange (my interpretation, of course).

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Preparing for HyperCare – with the perfect White Elephant gifts

• Kelly – delighted with the new clock that will keep us on time for all meetings (she will also schedule a training session for gift wrapping)
• Ashutosh – a mug with the 2016 calendar to remind him that every day in January is a Monday
• Pablo – so happy with his new ceramic mug that can travel to Bangalore with him
• Venu – a new humorous card each morning to remind us to laugh
• Merve – neck pillow for naps in the command center
• Michael – will never spill any of the precious much-needed coffee
• Fayeza – who will stop at nothing to nab the pillow for her own nap
• Shanice – needs the spill-proof mug more than Michael does
• Susan – believes that the schedule will reveal something good (and she is right)
• Merve – plenty of candy for the first few minutes on the first day of HyperCare
• Michael – grabs the fancy (and beautiful) tea maker for preparing soothing tea between tough meetings
• Susan – will be the most hydrated in all meetings with her fancy water bottle

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This project has been one of the most challenging ones I have worked on. My stress, blood glucose, and often, blood pressure have been on the rise. I have more grey hair, and have to get my hair colored more frequently. It has also been very rewarding, I have learned a lot, and I have grown both professionally and personally. The most important thing, of course, is the relationships I have built, the trust I have earned, and the friendships I cherish.  I am grateful that I get to work with this amazing team, who motivate me, inspire me, drive me crazy, and keep me sane.

Friendship at first sight and more December #gratitudes

I am savoring my cup of aromatic and delicious Gyokuro tea as I continue with the second half of my December gratitude blog. It is a cherished gift from a friend who bought it in Kyoto, and it has now become my Sunday afternoon routine to drink one of the teas from the gift box. I am grateful for Susan, with whom I have spent more time than anyone else in the last year. She takes care of me not just by bringing me unique teas, but giving me strength when I need it the most. 

The night after Nate's birthday, it was time to celebrate Gosia's. This woman is magical, at least to me. The first time I met her, I knew in my heart that she was someone I wanted to have in my life. Yes, it was "friendship at first sight". She makes me feel loved, and in a strange sort of way, she makes me feel safe. I am grateful that I had the honor of celebrating her milestone birthday.

The morning started with a hike. Yes, it was quite easy to wake up early to head out to Wunderlich, after a few tequila shots the night before and getting home at 2am. It had rained heavily the previous day, and had started to drizzle when I left. Geralyn and I were not going to be deterred from the last hike of the year by a little rain. The beauty that awaited us, in an already beautiful place, was overwhelming. We had joked about how we would burst into song and dance when The Meadows turned green, a sight many of of my new hiking companions have never witnessed because of the drought. Well, The Meadows was green, and the hills were alive! Unbelievably, it was I who asked Geralyn to sing "the hills are alive with the sound of music" with me. We pulled up the lyrics, found the music, and sang along with Julie Andrews while recording The Meadows. I am grateful that The Meadows exist a short enough distance from where I live so I can make it there on so many weekends. I am grateful that we have rain. I am grateful for the melodies the beautiful surroundings inspire. 

The evening started perfectly. I had already decided to debut the gorgeous dress Poonam bought me. Is there a better way to debut a birthday gift from a dear friend other than at the birthday of another dear friend? The necklace from Palvika complimented the dress perfectly, and “I was ready, set, go” for drinks with the Vohra crew before leaving for the party. I am grateful for Poonam, for many reasons, but in this case, gifting me many party dresses over the years, some that have made me famous (or infamous), and nursing me back to a stable standing state after one of those parties resulted in my hitting and staying on the floor for a while.

And that is a perfect lead in to the next gratitude. I planned to go to the Macha Holiday Party, the best one every year, after Gosia’s birthday celebration. I was, however, delayed because I was asked to pick up food on the way home for the 4 musketeers who were already at the party. It was midnight when I got to the party, and the 4 musketeers, whose names you can guess, had left the party. I am grateful that my friend Kerri let me in, although almost all the other guests had left, and played one more song to dance with me to before I delivered the food. I am grateful for Kerri, the most organized person I know, who willingly gave into a little chaos by my showing up late.

So many gratitudes for one weekend, I have barely made it to the week of Christmas. More motivation to continue writing as the gratitudes, many of them inspired by a lot of funny moments, will continue. 

A December to remember - so much to be grateful for

January 2015 promises to be a very busy month at work. At a busy time, it is very important to stay focused and be grateful for all the little things that enrich our lives. I will dedicate the first blog of 2016 with a few of my gratitudes from December. 

I kicked off the first weekend in December by a visit to the salon to color my hair (yes, one of the secrets to my youthful looks), and spending the rest of the day with my cousin, more like my daughter. I wrote about her in my January birthday blog last year - Three birthdays and a joyful blog. I love having her around, and wish I saw more of her. And of course, the weekend would not be complete without hiking with a couple of my favorite people. I am grateful that I have the always amazing Jassi and my hiking buddy, Fabiana in my life. 

The next one is a gratitude I posted on Facebook - "Gratitude for today - all my American friends who shared this post and condemned Trump, going as far as asking people who agreed with Trump to unfriend themselves. They make me proud." This gratitude came out of an unpleasant and negative emotion, and I had to give a shout out to those who had the courage to stand up for Muslims in the United States. I will add that almost all of these posts were from friends on Facebook who are neither Muslims nor immigrants. I am grateful that despite the negativity in the mainstream media and on social media, I have friends who are open-minded, can think for themselves, and have the courage of their convictions. 

Needless to say, all the drama and negativity generated by the anti-Muslim rhetoric was washed away on the weekend with a beautiful hike when Geralyn and I bravely ventured out to Edgewood County Park, unafraid of the mountain lion signs posted at the beginning of the trail. The #newnormal of doing new things continued. I braved a heavy thunderstorm to drive to a nursing home in Daly City to support Geralyn's choir. My intention was to blend into the crowd, smile at everyone, and cheer the choir. Much to my disbelief, and likely the agony of the listeners, I stood next to Geralyn, and sang every carol. Escorting Aleya around to give out gift bags to the residents, and seeing the joy in their faces, was worth every second of anxiety over the singing. I am grateful to have people like Geralyn in my life, who inspire me to be a better person. I am also grateful that I now have a Santa hat. 

On December 15th, my Facebook memories had a picture that made me smile for hours. It was of a cardboard laptop built by the students in the first Junior Achievement class I had the privilege of teaching. I still have all the individual thank you notes, and chuckle over one note that said, "Fayeza, thanks for wasting your time with us". It was supposed to say, "spending your time with us". I am grateful that I had the privilege of volunteering at an elementary school with kids who I learned from more than I taught them. Because of them, I conquered my fear of standing in a room with 30 curious kids with questions that were often tough. I miss that experience, and am very happy that I got the opportunity when I worked at Oracle. Special thanks to Jay Patel who is an advocate for the program, and led it for many years when he was at Oracle. 

And then, just before the weekend, I got to see my joon. Almost a year later, which is kind of sad, but it felt like no time had passed since we last saw each other. It was also an evening out with Jeni and Mark, and tequila was involved. We celebrated Nate's birthday which was falsely advertised in the invitation. We were invited to the San Francisco Armory, but received a clarification stating that it was actually a bar across the street called the Armory. For many of us, it was a lost opportunity to visit the San Francisco Armory under the pretense of celebrating Nate's birthday, but Nate's party was pretty darn good, and we all forgave him. He is really easy to forgive, that is if you actually ever get mad at him. I am grateful for my joon, Nasim. I am grateful for my friends Jeni and Mark, who make me feel alive simply via a chat message. I am grateful that I know Nate, an incredible human being who makes every person feel special and unique, and in his company, you can only see the joys in life. I am grateful that in my 10 months at Jobvite, I connected with incredible people who I feel I have been friends with all my life. 

Wow, I am only halfway there, and the next gratitude is so huge that it deserves it's own blog post. Not to mention the many gratitudes that I have yet to write about for December alone. I will end this blog by saying that I am grateful that I have so much to be grateful for. 

Another year, another blog, that trip to Vegas, and reaching out for a new normal

I did a lot of reflecting when writing my last birthday blog - Call me crazy. A month and a half later, do I have more to add? More hikes and more selfies for sure, but there is always something more, sometime with the same co-conspirators, and sometimes new ones. 

For someone who swore never to wear a tutu in public, and never owned one, I did it again! In fact, my co-conspirator Fabiana and I were the only ones wearing a tutu on the Thanksgiving Gobble Wobble race, and had the pleasure of being stopped frequently to have our picture taken. Because running at 10K in 40 degree F weather was not enough, I went hiking with Steph in 36 degree weather on Friday morning. Even my car warned me that it was only 36 outside! But that was not going to stop me from the Saturday hike to Skyline, the 4th this year, with my regular bunch of crazy hiking friends, and even getting a movie companion for the evening. All that activity helped burn off any extra helpings at our Thanksgiving dinner. 

But now, let's talk about what happened in Vegas. Yes, what happened in Vegas will not stay in Vegas for this crazy bunch of friends, as we are only going to build on the success of that great trip. I planned it perfectly - with the right group of people, of course. Some older, some younger, but all fun-loving friends who went on a little birthday celebration with me. Steph and Lovey really put the pedal to the metal by getting on the flight and room reservations, months in advance. Mark, our aspiring Olympic weigh-lifter in training went with us as our bodyguard. And Jeni, our nightclub VIP guest list connection was the star of the weekend. 

Some of the highlights of the trip included my first trip to a Vegas nightclub, tipsy bodyguard, lots of tequila, lots of dancing, lots of coffee to stay awake for the lots of dancing and tequila, MJ One, another visit to a nightclub with a sober bodyguard, more tequila,more dancing, and pizza at 2am. 

Lovey got over her frustration with her Fitbit not recording her dance steps by walking up to the very last minute before boarding the plane back home. She also discovered an enjoyable way of gambling, and winning, by hanging out with me at the roulette table. She did lose most of her winnings by sneaking out of the nightclub to go gambling by herself. 

To summarize as they do in the Amazing Race - 
20 miles walked
10,000 dance steps (accurately recorded by Jeni's Fitbit)
8 hours of sleep over 3 nights/days
"x" number of shots (no one counted)
"x 3" coffee consumed
4 meals at celebrity chef restaurants

Let's just say the trip in Mark's famous tipsy sentence was "one, two, three, four, boom"! 

To everyone who celebrated my bonus year with me, thank you! My life is what it is because I have you in it.

In conclusion, the single biggest gift this year was my brother's trip. It was only 3 days long, but spending even that with him after 3 years reminded me of how much I miss him and his family, and wish they were closer. 

Wishing everyone a joyous, healthy, prosperous and active 2016! Reach for the stars, and think of every new challenge as the new normal. 

Call me crazy..... A blog for my birthday

It's raining! It's cold! And it's 6 am on a Sunday morning! The first thought after texting, "yes, we are" to Sheena's question, "the sky is falling, are we still on?" was to stay under the covers for 15 more minutes. But I was wide awake, and instead of wanting to go back to sleep or curling up with a book, I wanted to get into my warm rain-proof clothes and hit the road! 

Yes, call me crazy, but Geralyn and Sheena have made waking up early on Sunday mornings somewhat of an adventure to look forward to. 

From the first time that Geralyn showed up to hike with me, really nervous about being able to keep up and finish what I claimed was an easy 3 mile loop, to the day she asked when we would hike the 13 mile loop I had promised, it has been months of very joyful hikes every weekend. And then Sheena came along for a 13 mile hike, breaking all kinds of records on her first day using her Fitbit. The jewel in the crown - Geralyn's idea to hike at Land's End followed by brunch at Louis' for Sheena's birthday. Aloma joining us was a big bonus! 

We walked, we laughed, we took a lot of pictures. And we started a new tradition - birthday celebrations at Land's End! 

Call me crazy, because I started my birthday morning by waking up at 4:45 am, driving my cousin to the airport, and then heading out for my practice 10K to prepare for the Thanksgiving Gobble Wobble. I answered birthday calls, texts and Facebook messages while on my walk/run. And I spent some time thinking back on the year since I wrote my first blog for my birthday. 

This year, I did a few things that most people who know me would consider either crazy or just not me! I made choices that would normally scare me, I made decisions that were unlike me. I learned that, in life, you often feel that you are rationalizing decisions to reconcile them with your core values, but when you are rooted in those values, you are simply finding ways to make sure that your decisions don't go against them. This allowed me to open my heart to new friendships, and embrace people I felt I had nothing in common with (and could never work with). It made me a believer in second chances, for myself and for others. 

Among other things, I spent a whole day in Disneyland wearing a tutu, and even danced with the band. And I wore pink Minnie Mouse ears with a red tutu - shockingly unfashionable! I climbed on a fallen tree, and tried to balance on it. I crawled up on a tree trunk, and pretended to sleep (while getting sticky sap all over my clothes). 

Call me crazy, but I believe that being in the company of nature with someone else who believes in you is the most therapeutic thing you can do for yourself. 

I am going to end this birthday blog with a quote from Sheena that is going to be my mantra. 

"Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no selfie hard enough" 

It's the little things #Oahu2015

The ocean, the beaches, the mountains, Pearl Harbor, and many many more breathtaking experiences await on a trip to Oahu. I will blog about that another day. Today, it's the little things that made us, and still make us laugh that I want to put down in words.

When you get on the Interstate..... Wait, what? Yes, there are Interstate highways in Oahu. I don't think they connect to another State in the United States, or we could drive to Oahu from California.

There are people who wear beach wrap hoodies. Apparently, it protects their head when it rains. I don't think Stephany was thinking about that when she bought one. So when a torrential rainstorm hit us, she pulled up her hood and proudly said, "Fayeza, look! I have a hood!" Except, the hoodie was a crochet pattern with big holes in it. Her head was just as wet as the rest of her. 

The only person who didn't see the perfect parking spot that was completely different from what everyone else in the car saw was the child in the child seat. She kept her opinion to herself as she was asleep until after the big car was parked, and missed out on the discussions, suggestions, hand signals and cursing that accompanied our parking adventures. Jay's hang loose signal at every opportunity only added to the hilarity. 

Speaking of the child, we learned a few new things from her. She does not sleep when her "body is not tired". She can't sleep when she drinks. But best of all, a new word - "dangerrocks"! A word she came up with when I asked her to be careful on the "dangerous rocks". 

The most precious moment of the trip was standing in a shaded spot on Lanakai beach, listening to and looking at the beautiful ocean, and suddenly hearing a little voice singing - "do a deer, a female deer......." 

So long, Oahu! 

The hiking chronicles: stories of friendships, love and advocacy - the early days

It wouldn't be an exaggeration if I said I have thousands of photos, to be precise, iPhone photos, of my hikes. Over the last few years, I have hiked uncountable miles, mostly in Woodside.

I cannot remember precisely when I got interested in hiking. I always loved walking, but going into the woods on trails was something that was new to me. I remember the first time I struggled up the Alambique trail in Wunderlich Park. It took several stops before I made it past the first half mile of that steep incline. The friend I was hiking with is an amazing storyteller, and her funny stories made the huffing and puffing worse as laughing itself was quite difficult. I somehow made it that day, but the best part of the day was really the delicious burger we treated ourselves to after the hike. This is before Facebook and iPhone, and there was no bragging since I was not really sure it was worth bragging that I hiked a little over 3 miles in 4 hours.

After listening to me talk with such wonder about the beauty of hiking, my close friend Aloma said she knew of the perfect place to try next. It was the weekend of the 4th of July in 2004. We headed to Purisima Creek in Half Moon Bay. We picked the longest trails, because, yeah, we knew we could do it. We went up to Skyline and back. We saw the Pacific Ocean and Mount Tamalpais from an amazing location. We walked, we talked, and ate all our snacks. It was just a little over seven and a half miles. We crawled back to our car. We still felt great, until it was time to get out of the car. And we could barely move! I think we lay flat for hours for the fatigue and soreness to leave us. I still remember that beautiful day, and I repeated the hike with a group of people a couple of years later. That second time, it was on a Sunday morning after a sleepover at my house the night before. A sleepover where we had to force ourselves to go to bed at midnight since we had to be up early to hike.

Aloma and I wizened up a little, and picked shorter hikes after that adventure. The real adventure started a few weeks later after a friend generously gave me his book on the best hiking trails in California. Little did I know that reading the words and navigating a trail are very different things. Maps only confused me more, and it didn't help that my orientation did not always match that of the map. We hiked every trail in Pacifica and Woodside, carrying the big book with us to guide us. We often got stuck on very narrow trails at the edge of a precipice. Talk about being paralyzed with fear!! More than once, we had to crawl on our butts to make it to a safer path.

One of my favorite memories is what I call "the cobwebs incident". As Aloma and I were slowly making  our way down on the Bear Gulch trail in Wunderlich reading the fat hiking book. Aloma was reading out loud, and said something about the beauty of the Redwoods clearing the cobwebs in our heads. Just as she was done reading that, we found ourselves suddenly surrounded by the most amazing Redwood trees, and cobwebs! The cobwebs were everywhere! Small and big, and I as a spider-hater, I hate to admit that they were beautiful! We burst out laughing as we both had the exact same thought. The cobwebs in our head would soon join the ones left there by previous hikers :). 

For Aloma and I, hiking was never about the exercise or the great outdoors. It was a chance to talk, bond, eat, and spend time together uninterrupted by anything else. We laughed, we vented, we strengthened an already strong friendship. And somewhere along the way I fell in love with the trails, the Redwoods, the fresh air, and the exhilarating feeling of accomplishment every time I conquered a difficult uphill trail. 

I dedicate this post to my bestie who got me into something I love so much now, for listening to me for hours with no sign of escape, and for inspiring me to perfect my spicy egg toast that I made for our hikes. 

Pictures below are courtesy of another very patient friend who humored me by being the photographer.