Pride, prejudice and my secrets of adulthood #pride #equality

At dawn, it dawned on me that it is the last day of the month, and once again I am scrambling to meet my self-imposed deadline for a blogpost. In what I considered to be a difficult month to be inspired to write a joyful gratitude blog, I ended up discovering that we are surrounded by many. Sometimes you have to look, but they are always there. And this led me to create my next list of "my secrets of adulthood". Unfortunately, some gratitudes may be accompanied with a  rant, a sad reflection on the time we live in. 

I ended my blog with my second list of "my secrets of adulthood" with the following comment from my favorite television personality. 

"The best defense against bullshit is vigilance. If you smell something, say something" - Jon Stewart

This is even more true today than a year ago when he said it. In a month that has challenged all of us in still believing in the goodness in humanity, I am truly blessed and will boast that I am surrounded mostly by people who believe in equality, not just for their own kind, but for everyone in the world. More about this in the last paragraph of the blog, but first, my next list of "my secrets of adulthood".

I will kick it off with one that is a repeat from the previous two lists:

What you do every day matters more than what you do once in while (from Rubin's list)
Challenging ignorance is probably the best thing you can do for everyone

Expressing an opinion makes you stronger, when that opinion is based on facts

My marriage has never been and never will be threatened by the marriage of my gay friends

A glass of wine does not fix problems, but it helps put them in perspective

It's okay to be a tad bit, little bit or immensely jealous of other people's adventures

Accepting and admitting your weaknesses makes you stronger, if you work on changing them

Accepting your friends' weaknesses makes your relationships stronger 

And lastly, reconnecting to the first part of my blog -
If you can't challenge your own friends on their bigotry, racism and / or xenophobia, you have no right to discuss how to change the world. 

A few days ago, I took it upon myself to say something when I read some total bullshit in posts by a Mexican-American friend who hates Trump for obvious reasons, but openly posted that she used to think all Muslims are terrorists until.... and posted a video that had somehow transformed her thinking. She went on to encourage and applaud the 2 people who added hateful comments in response to her post. As I did not want to get in the middle of their love-fest for hating other people, I sent her a private message calling her out. Her response - my cousin is a radical, I should just block him. It never occurred to her that he was responding to her statement. I openly challenged classmates on their ignorance when Prop 8 was on the ballot in 2008. That battle was lost not because of religious views but sheer ignorance of those who believe everything they see in a TV ad. It was particularly horrifying to me that these were graduate students with access to information, and chose not to use their brains. 

I truly believe that there is more good than evil, and more good people than evil people in the world. Although it does not feel like it on some days, we are in many ways better off today and will be in the future. This is possible because we have access to more easily available information more than ever before. However, information is not absorbed by breathing - you have to research, know how to look for facts v/s rhetoric, and be open to evolving as a person. Don't blame your culture, your upbringing and lack of knowledge, and don't let others get away with those excuses either. I know my opinions have evolved over the last two decades, and I believe that if you truly believe in equality, it has to be equality for all, no matter their race, ethnicity, religion and sexual orientation. 

I dedicate this blog to the lives lost at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, to those killed at Ataturk airport in Istanbul, to those who are discriminated against because of how they identify themselves in society, and the brave people who stand up for the rights of others.